Monday, December 27, 2004

the christmas-new year stretch

here's my theory. i've had it since i was a kid. christmas is so stressful and crazy and everyone's trying to remember things that they haven't finished yet, and add to that the stress of finals, vacation time from work, family coming into town, spending loads and loads of money... it's really not that enjoyable. new year's eve is where it's at. it's a big party! you're not required to bring any gifts, you don't have to spend all your money, you get to stay up late, and honestly, the tv stations play the BEST movies on new year's eve. i love new year's eve more than my own birthday. i thinnk it takes people a while to get into the holiday spirit. at christmastime, it's still settling in. but a week later, at new years, you're ready to have fun. it really feels relaxing and you're ready to have fun.

so christmastime, anyone? my parents gave me two redeemable plane tickets so i can take my darling on a trip for his birthday. i'm so excited! i want to go to washington state, and go to visit vancouvour. also in the way of presents, my little sister made me a fleece blaket with my little ponies all over it. that one is at the top of the list. and my baby brother covered a little heart-shaped wooden box with pretty paper for me and filled it with m&ms. he's so cute! of course my big brother had to buy me something expensive, now that he's a working man and all. he bought me an uthentic dallas stars jersey. it's beautiful and expensive and HUGE. i can't think of when i could wear it. really the brightest future i can see for this bank-buster is in a frame on the wall.

i bought my parents matching mom & dad t shirts that say new mexico tech on them. they also got pictures i knew they would like from the vegas trip. my dad got one of us with a begas elvis and my mom got one of us in a gondola at the venitian. my sister got blondie's greatest hits and a life-size stand up of james dean. she loves me now! for nick i got a bunch of beanies and a sweatshirt. he likes it because it actually fits him (my brother is about 6'5") and he says it's soft. the little brother got a cd and a sweatshirt. he's still at that age where a cd is cool just because it's a cd, and a sweatshirt that his sister doesn't steal is nice.

okay, i've dodged long enough. i can only write at work nowadays because i can't get internet at home. so here i go, tagging plants. (i didn't relize how bad the dishwashing job was until i came back here. i'm so glad i quit!)

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

shoe politics

WHAT is the deal?!?

maybe i've really digressed into nerdom. maybe socorro is going to be one of those towns stuck decades behind the rest of the world. maybe i'm the only one who thinks this... or maybe ugg boots and super-spikey shoes really are ridiculous.

honestly... the spikey shoes girls are wearing these days are the most unattractive footwear i think i've ever seen. not just girls! i went to see ocean's twelve opening night, and there's a scene where brad pitt and catherine zeta-jones, perhaps two of the most beautiful people ever, are standing next to each other, both wearing those aweful, pointy shoes. i was very sad.

less sad but equally mysterious is the obsession with ugg boots. i'm not the shoe expert my roommate is, but didn't some celebrity start those? i bet a lot of them sat around and said, "these kiddos love us so much, we could wear the ugliest shoes imaginable and they'd still copy us." way to go, public.

for reals now, not to offend, but i really am in the dark here. are the boots really comfortable? do the spikes make your legs look longer? if all this is just to look different, um... it's not working. everybody's wearing them.

except me! give me my chucks any day.

red, tomato-based condiment

sorry i haven't been writing... here's the short, short version (a la space balls).

i am now twenty one! my birthday was the day before thanksgiving. and what did i do to celebrate? i went to fabulous las vegas. no, i didn't get drunk, no, i didn't get married, and no, i'm not rich. i did gamble a little, but no one even asked to see my id! it was kind of a bummer. i wanted to show it off. oh well.

one thing about vegas is the boobs. they are everywhere. on the billboards, on the taxis, on the casino signs. people stand on the side of the road and hand out fliers for hookers all day long, and people drop them on the ground and the sidewalk is lined with boobs. it's kind of unique, but it got pretty old. the fountain show at the bellagio is the coolest thing ever, it's way better than the scanky pirate show at treasure island. that one has changed a lot since i was a kid.

then there's christmas shopping and of course, finals. i have five this semester. five! have i ever had that many? maybe i'm just getting lazy. as of now, two are down, three to go. bring it.

on to updates:

i have two, count 'em, two jobs lined up for christmas break. the good ol nursery job and a waitressing job at my brother's bakery. yay, money!

i'm moving in with the val verde girls. i'm really looking forward to not eating in the cafeteria and getting money back from the school.

my winning steak... or rather, my getting-a's-on-tests-without-studying streak finally came to an end. yes kids, it really is better to study for your tests. i promise. and it's better to wear sunscrean too. ;)

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

epispde 3: the moment of truth... realized!

hey, i did it! i smashed abernathy's test! i didn't get the highest grade in the class, like last time, but i was only two points away. i had a 96. not much to complain about there. at least, not for me. abernathy announced to us today that some of the kids in the class thought that the test was unfair and went and complained to the dean, saying they studied hard and that abernathy didn't help us prepare.

that's sucha lie. i'm not just saying that because i got a good grade, even my friends who got bad grades say that abernathy helps us study more than any other teacher at tech... i hope the dean doesn't listen to them.

but i suppose that's the best expected end to the trilogy, completely proving my point... studying more equals lower grades. remember that one.

Friday, November 12, 2004

girl anger, i guess

what's up with this notion that people have that girls are wimpy? even if a person never admits to it, they think it. i really makes me mad. we hear it everywhere.... "don't be such a girl." it means quit acting like a wuss. "that's a girly sport." it means it's easy. and my favorite is the football coach who tries to motovate his team by calling them ladies. don't people know that girls are going to hear these things? what if someone used your name to insult people? would it offend you?

the funny thing is, most people don't notice. most girls don't even notice.

i'm still trying to understand the whole chivalry thing. there's nothing that makes me more mad than hearing a guy say, "i respect women. i would never fight a girl." it's a complete contridiction. but i won't get into that one, it's too controversial.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

interpretation, please?

i had the weirdest dream last night.

first of all, a little bit about last night. jess was reading in bed and i was reading on the couch. i really wanted to finish the chapter, but my eyes were getting really heavy and i thought that i'd just rest them for a minute. i never thought i could fall asleep on that little tiny couch. i woke up about seven hours later because jess had rolled over and knocked something on the floor. i was shocked, really shocked to find myself still on that little couch, with the light still on, the book still on my lap, and my finger still marking my page, no less! this is very unusual because i am not a very sound sleeper. jess was telling me today that she hadn't slept so well in a long time... maybe it was something in the air.

it was after i actually got into bed that i had the dream. i went to a little christian high school, and we'd have like mini-church services in the middle of the week. i dreamed i was practicing a skit for one of those. in the skit one older person was paired with a kid, and i was paired with this cute little black girl named ruby. ruby does not actually exist, as far as i know. my little brother was in it too, and his partner was mike. in the skit, the older person would be like a voice in the kid's head, telling him or her to do something bad like steal a cookie or tell a lie. of course the voice starts to win over, until the kid prays for strength. then the voice sounds like, "blah blah blah blah...." and the kid has no trouble doing the right thing. cute, huh?

and suddenly it wasn't a skit anymore, and we were outside, standing on a really steep, rocky hill. instead of a skit it was a movie, and we had to make sure we were standing in the same place in every shot. i remember that everybody was wearing really nice running shoes except for my little brother, who got himself onto some part of the hill that he couldn't get down from and was scared. while mike and the camera guys were trying to help him, i started running down the hill and sliding on the rocks. i really remember this part well. i would slide on my feet, and slow myself down by sticking my foot further into the gravel i was sliding on. it felt like i was surfing. i was thinking, wow, all my life i thought this was so dangerous, but it's really easy. ruby said that i looked cool, and she wished that she could do it. there was some other guy there too, that said i was really cool because i wasn't worried about falling. so i climbed up the hill and did it again. i wanted my brother to see so he wouldn't be scared. this time, when i got to the bottom, i just kept running. my shoes really were nice.

i went to an underground tunnel that was halfway full of water. it wasn't dark, and the tunnel was perfectly rectangular and the walls were white. it had arms branching off to the sides, like a hallway. i had been there before and i knew i was afraid of the place. i think i was afraid that it would fill all the way and i would drown, but i had to go in anyway. i was swimming and looking at things under the water. i saw a shark about as big as a dog at one of the branches, and i didn't know what to do. i stared at it for a long time, and then i realized that it was dead. i looked ahead in the hallway and there were more dead sharks, more than i could count, and they were all moving with the water. i thought they had drowned, and that i was going to drown too. and then i remember that we were all on an island, and that we all came on a boat and that we were trying to get away from the sharks and they died in the tunnel, but we got away.

all this time the tunnel was shrinking in both directions. everytime i noticed it, the height and the width were shorter. the water was coming infrom the end of the hallway and that's where the most sharks were. the water was rough there, and i knew i had to go over there and do something that i was afraid of.

and then this guy showed up! the one that was on the hill. he had followed me, and he was asking me why i was afraid of the hallway but i wasn't afraid to slide down the mountain. and he was saying that it was really hard to get to the island in the boats and how all the sharks almost killed us. he wanted to leave, because he didn't want me to be scared, so i said that i would go with him. i was thinking in my head that i would just come back when he wasn't around, because there was something i really needed to do. the tunnel was so little now that there was no room to stand up. we swam up out of the tunnel, and then i recognized the guy! i've seen him on tv, he's on a show i watch a lot. and then i woke up.

isn't that bizarre? the whole dream i was really calm. i don't think i had any emotions at all. and sometime at the end of the dream i was thinking that ruby was my daughter, and that her name was ruby joy, and that i taught her how to spell her name.

i think i should send this into a psychiatrist. how mind-boggling.

test day episode 3: the moment of truth.... trailer 1

i took the test today... and i'm stumped. it's a complete cliffhanger. i have no idea how i did.

josh thinks he bombed it. jon didn't say so, because he never really says so, but i think he's not very happy with the test. no one finished, abernathy had us turn in the tests when class was over. some people walked out of there looking like they had just found out that their dog had died. on the other hand, i heard a couple people as they were leaving says, "that test was f***ing easy!" (by the way, i am so sick of hearing the f-word. it's everywhere! can't people think of something more intelligent, or at any rate less offensive to say? they think it makes them sound cool or adult, but in reality, they sound like total idiots. i'm not above chewing any of them out.)

there were five problems on the test. i got answers for all the problems except a part b. i don't think anyone got that one, and i heard a rumor from josh that abernathy didn't give us enough information to figure it out, so he might not count it. that's fine by me! none of my answers really seemed like shots in the dark, but i wasn't completely comfident in any of them either. i'm particularly concerned about the last two problems, because they were about concepts that i didn't quite grasp in class, and they just seemed to make sense on the test. that's pretty suspicious, if you ask me, and i wouldn't be surprized if i got them wrong. but i wouldn't be surprized if i got them right either.

like i said, i have no idea how this is going to end. tune in next week for the heart-stopping conclusion of episode 3.... the moment of truth!!!

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

test day episode 2: the therory continues

i think i need a cigar. i don't smoke cigars, but maybe i should.

well, my theroy of tests and studying seems to hold true. this semester, the more i study for a test, the worse i do. or rather, the less i study, the better i do.

my first thermo test, i studied my butt off and got a 57. the second, i hardly studied at all and got a 95. first dynamics test, didn't study, 98. first fluids test, studied, 81. second fluids test, didn't study, forgot that the test was even in the same week, got a 100. first econ test, studied, got a "c". second, didn't study, slept though half of it, got an "a".

this is really a weird trend that's going on here. i don't know what's wrong....

i guess the moment of truth will be tomorrow's second dynamics test. i plan on not studying. we'll see what happens.

Monday, November 08, 2004

another x-child?

i watch good morning america just about every day. no, i don't seek this show out, it's what's playing every morning in the cafeteria at breakfast, and i am a breakfast person. it's not that bad... yesterday they hosted the myth-busters, some good interesting nerdy fellows that i enjoy. what you should really avoid is regis and kelly. kelly is the dumbest woman in the world. she makes me ashamed to be a female. i really have to wonder if she's really that stupid or if she fakes it because she thinks it's cute. either way, she's an insult to female intelligence and really shouldn't be on television.

anyway, i saw something interesting on gma today. they had a story about a little girl who couldn't feel pain. of course this is not a new disease, and of course it is very dangerous for her because she could be rubbing off skin, for example, and not feeling it. but, heartlessly, i have to wonder what kind of mutant power that would be, what her nickname would be, what her outfit would look like... and with every mutant power there is a mutant weakness. in this case that one is easy. she just wouldn't know when she's really getting injured. i spent breakfast pondering what kind of painful (painless?) situations she could be in without actually really doing damage to her body, instead of working on my fluids homework. lucky for me, it was really hard and nobody else did it, so dr. reilley gave us an extension. yeah.... i'd better get to that fluids homework now, and stop turning poor little girls with weird deseases into mutant freaks.

questions of the day

does every orange/lemon/lime/grapefruit have the same concentration of citric acid? does it matter how ripe they are?

what does xenophobia mean?

how many nerd ropes are sold daily? yearly? who came up with that anyway? (interesting... google search nerd ropes.)

adam told me that a person who peels the label off a jar or bottle is sexually frustrated. how are those two events related? what does sexually frustrated mean? who desided that peeling labels had anything to do with that? is there a one-to-one correlation?

how the heck does ketsup get in the packets? think about it... why is the logo off-center virtically, but never horizontally? my best guess is a long tube full of ketsup that is pinched and heat-sealed and cut, but there is not dried ketsup in the folds, so i'm stumped.

if you have any information about any of these above questions (especially the ketsup one), help me out. actually, i think i could figure out the xenophobia one myself, but other than that...

Sunday, November 07, 2004


i'm really excited!

i have been wanting to move off-campus for a long time, and as of today i have two possible choices for doing so. neither has actually told me for sure that i can move in, but i'm very hopeful.

option #1: the colemans
kim was my last roommate, remember her? she graduated last semester with a degree in tehnical communications, but then came back to school for a degree in civil because she just couldn't find anything else to do. i'm glad, because she's SO fun. she and i get along great, almost too great, because we tend to talk to each other when we should be doing other things. right now she lives with her sister jenny near the plaza, and she told me that it would be tight, but dirt cheap for all three of us to live there. coooool!

option #2: the val verde girls
sounds like salloon girls or hookers or something, but it's quite the opposite. there are currently three girls in this house, nicole, kc, and ronnie, and they all work at the val verde. nicki, kc and i have been friends for a few years, and ronnie is totally cool. if i moved in here i would be sharing a room with nicki and it would probably be just as cheap. and nicki and kc run a bible study on sunday nights for girls at school and iv and work. i think it would be so great to live with them!

don't get me wrong here... jessica is probably the coolest girl in this whole building. she's awesome. but i finally figured out what adam realized when we were freshmen: if i move off-campus with the scholarship i have, i will get paid to go to school here.

also, i think not having a christian roommate is affecting me again, like the semester that i lived with theresita. it wouldn't be so bad if carmen was here this semester, but sometimes i really need a girl to dish with, and as great as jessica is, we're just not close like that. i don't think people realize what an influence it is to live with people who share your faith. maybe it makes me weak, but i really need that influence.

cross your fingers!

Wednesday, November 03, 2004


last night we had a bible study with some friends. we read the first eight verses of acts 3.

Acts 3:1 Now Peter and John were going up to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour. And a man lame from birth was being carried, whom they laid daily at that gate of the temple which is called Beautiful to ask alms of those who entered the temple. Seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked for alms. And Peter directed his gaze at him, with John, and said, "Look at us." And he fixed his attention upon them, expecting to receive something from them. But Peter said, "I have no silver and gold, but I give you what I have; in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk." And he took him by the right hand and raised him up; and immediately his feet and ankles were made strong. And leaping up he stood and walked and entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God

there were a lot of us, and everybody was talking about "what they got" out of the passage or something. i thought it was interesting that peter and john had no money, and they couldn't get the beggar out of his situation by themselves. the poor helped the poor. telling people about JESUS isn't supposed to be condescending. it's one beggar showing another where to find life. everyone else was saying all this stuff about how we should reach out to people and how we should take time to help people and have faith in ourselves to do good works or whatever.

here's what i was thinking. everyone else at the place was putting themselves in peter and john's shoes. they were taking the example of the deciples and applying it to their lives. but what if we are supposed to relate to the beggar? he went and sat outside the temple to look for money. what if we go to church looking for something that we want, instead of something that we need, and GOD sees our need and heals us? sometimes we aren't crippled men, but we have depression or bitterness or sin that is just as hindering that we need to be rid of. and GOD can heal anything. i think sometimes we need to be the lame man. how else would we grow?

the important part is that after GOD has blessed us beyond what we could even hope for or ask for, we walk and leap and bring glory to his name. we take advantage of our new blessings and tell others that GOD is responsible.

i know right now i feel pretty lame. that sounds funny, but i wish someone would see what i need and help me out. i feel crippled.

Friday, October 29, 2004

i believed!

and speaking of baseball.....

how bout them red sox?

strike three, you're out!

dr. jo has lectured me about priorities for the last time. this week he gave us a two-part test, closed note on wednesday and open-note on friday. i'm sure i failed. i'm dropping the course. what really gets me is that vectors is easy, i understand the material, i just can't pass jo's stupid tests! well, i can pass, but what i want here is an "a". so forget it. i feel really bad about ditching adam, especially when i'm actually doing better than he is in the course.

i feel like a quitter. i feel stupid and i know i'm not. josh was right, i should have taken statistics this semester.

on wednesday adam and i were studying for our vectors test at breakfast. adam told me tony was at home cramming like crazy for his fluids test, but the fluids test was next week. i called tony and told him that. then we asked collin about some vectors concept, and when he was leaving, he asked me if i was ready for our fluids test. there was another whole table of people studying fluids at the same time. thus i found out that i had a test less than a whole hour before i took it. i ditched the vectors and crammed.

i think i did really well. i'm not joking.

yesterday i didn't get any sleep because i was so sick. i went to breakfast and begged mike to give me some of his pain pills and went back to bed. i slept through half of my economics test. luckily, i only slept through half, dr. gosh gave me a little extra time, and i think i did really well on that one, too.

i have another thermo test next week. i don't really know how to study for it. i guess i'll have to see how i do. if i flunk again, i'm really going to have a talk with dr. cal. i talked to him already about my test, but there was really nothing he could do about it. hopefully i just had a bad test day.

and then we come to dynamics, my shining star. it's nice to have one class at which i am excellent. i just hope i don't have to eat my words on the next test.

the other day, when i was working really hard on my dynamics homework for the week, jd told me that it's just not worth it, it's really not worth it. i ignored him, because i like turning in my homework correctly and working hard on it. it makes me feel good. then he asked me what i want to do with my life. i told him i don't want to wash dishes anymore.

Friday, October 08, 2004

yes, that's a golf ball. and yes, that's hail, not a snowball.

i'm finally getting a chance to post some of the pictures from the hailstorm on tuesday...
it was crazy... really really crazy. tech campus actually got hit harder than the rest of the town. the largest stones were about as big baseballs, and most of them were much larger than golf balls. it only came down for about fifteen minutes, but the damage is gone! almost every roof in town needs work. all the trees are stripped of their leaves and most of their small branches. three people got caught outside in the storm and had to be rushed to the hospital. one got hit in the head, there are pictures of him in the internet bleeding, with a concussion. every windsheild is smashed, and every car has pock marks all over it. some even have holes in the body. now they're all covered in tarps and plastic bags. the glass companies are really going to make a killing.
the storm was incredible to watch. the hail was coming down so fast that it sent dirt and grass flying up where it hit the ground and terra cotta tiles falling where it hit the roof. the velocity was unbelievable. adam told me that after the storm passed, his new roommate josh (who is quite a bit more athletic than the average techie) picked up one of the stones and threw it as hard as he could at his truck- not a scratch. that means they were coming down a lot faster than that, and i really don't think that josh is a weakling.
mike had just parked my car under a tree before the hail came down, and he actually got hit in the back with one of the stones on the way inside. he's okay, but poor jules is very beat up. the tree didn't protect her, it just covered her in dents and foilage. my back windsheild had three good-sized holes in it when the storm passed, and my front windsheild is destroyed too.
but she's not the worst. all the cars parked by south hall got really hammered. mike's truck is very beat up also. he lost a mirror and a headlight. the golf course is pretty jacked, as you can see.
honestly, these pictures don't do the storm justice. going outside is depressing because there is SO much damage. all the buildings have barriers around them so people won't get too close and get hit by falling peices of the roof. a lot of tech's buildings have skylights- or used to have skylights, i should say. there's broken glass everywhere. for more pictures, check out our "official" natural disaster site.

we used to have a nice golf course

Thursday, October 07, 2004

test day

there's good news and there's bad news, and both have this annoying sense of irony.

last thursday we had a thermo test, and let me tell you, i studied for hours and hours. i can't remember the last time i studied that hard for a test. dr. cal told us to study the homework and we'd be fine. i went through every homework problem with the solutions he gave us and worked through what i had done wrong and highlighted all the formulas i used and put sticky tabs all through my book. i made a immaculate cheat sheet. i really felt very prepared for this test. i worked SO hard, harder than all my study buddies. i bet you can see where this is going.

well, nothing i studied was on the test. i might as well have had a macgyver marithon and never cracked a book.

on tuesday we had a dynamics test. i was pretty wiped out from all my thermo studying, so i didn't start studying til ten p.m. the night before. i didn't even look at the homework, i just skimmed the book and wrote stuff down on the cheat sheet.

we got both tests back today. i got the highest grade in the class in dynamics, a 98. i beat jon berg, the brainiest guy in the whole school, by nine points. i was one of only two people to get the angular velocity question right, out of a class of about thirty. the averae was about a 73.

the thermo test average was an 84. that's very high. i got a 57. i know it's not the worst, someone got a 48, but i'm so upset! i worked so hard, and i have nothing to show for it. the test was graded fairly and everything. what lesson am i supposed to learn from this?

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

the great hail storm of '04

Socorro County Commissioners, in an emergency meeting on Oct. 7, declared the county a disaster area. Help for uninsured property owners may be on the way, but the process is lengthy, and everyone is asked to be patient.County Manager Jody McSmith said the county today has started rounding up figures of all damages in the county to forward to the Emergency Preparedness Office in Santa Fe.
If the total damage assessment is greater than $2 million in uninsured personal property, Gov. Bill Richardson can ask the President of the United States for an emergency declaration to release federal funds to aid individual property owners.

Friday, September 24, 2004

strike two

dr jo is evil.

the concepts in vectors are pretty easy, it's all definitions and multiplying and dividing and dividing and taking square roots and derivatives. at least i think it's easy... there are some people in the class that have trouble thinking 3-dimentionally. so imagine how hard it is for them when the components we have to work with on the homework aren't easy things like exponentials, sines, and cosines, but things like log ( sec (t) ) or t*arctant. that's mean. really mean.

and what is the point of that? i think if we can figure it out with easy components we understand the material. this is stuff that the teachers in calc3 and diffeqs would never give us because it's too bloody time-consuming and you never see it in the real world anyway! and when the whole class begged for an extention today, jo was all bugged and gave us a lecture about how we aren't being responsible about homework and we're not spending enough time working on it.

whatever. i spent more that five hours on the homework last night and i wasn't even halfway done. true, five or even ten hours would be a short amount of time in any other class i'm taking, but this is vectors. it's really frustrating when i completely understand the concept and i'm still up all night doing algebra.


Wednesday, September 22, 2004

bigger, better, more complex brainwaves!

Devil64: i just thought of something... what if jon's obvious metal superiority is just a purposeful distraction from his actual mutant powers?
webguru: oh my goodness, that's it!
Devil64: he's just like that to really put us off his scent, so we won't try to figure out what he can actually do. it's the perfect disguise.
webguru: I think you might be onto something.

Thursday, September 16, 2004


Devil64: it's so weird, josh and i are on exactly the same study schedule. last night we were both so brain dead... and when one of us is motovated, the other is too
webguru: funny! maybe you guys emit some sort of pheremone that makes you on the same schedule, like the whole girls period thing
Devil64: that's a disturbing thought
webguru: isn't it though?
Devil64: it may be true though
webguru: it could be
webguru: Jake and Scott and I seem to be that way
Devil64: so how does this work? if i hang around you, we'll start matching each other?
Devil64: because kat's not on this schedule, and she was there last night
webguru: I don't know
webguru: we don't have the same classes, just one class in common, so the phereomone isn't that strong
Devil64: hmmm
Devil64: and i'm in four classes with josh... and two with kat, so maybe that's something
Devil64: but that doesn't explain jon. he's in the same four as josh and i
webguru: well he's just sort of super human
webguru: his powerful brain can resist the phereomones
Devil64: that must be his mutant power!
webguru: it must be!
Devil64: today we RUSHED like you wouldn't believe to finish our thermo homework, and when the rest of us were sitting around recovering, jon pulled out his dynamics homework for NEXT week and started working on it
webguru: oh my goodness, that's sick
Devil64: and i said, "jon, don't you ever get fried?"
Devil64: and he laughed
webguru: oh my goodness!
Devil64: i know
webguru: he needs some mental help before he cracks
Devil64: he said he does get worn out, but i think he said that so i wouldn't find out about his mutant power
webguru: i knew it, he's covering!
Devil64: i wonder what his weakness is
webguru: "B"s?
Devil64: he said he's only had one "A-" since he's been here
Devil64: ....though in reality, it's probably been a lot longer than that
webguru: holy freaking cow that is sickening

i know you guys may be sick of hearing about it, but i really can't get enough of yes lately. i'm always listening to their music, and i'm probably driving jessica insane by playing "long-distance runnaround" and "i've seena ll good people" over and over again, but those are totally my songs of this month. last month music was just about anything from the de-lovely soundtrack. the month before that i think was los lonley boys, but the point is, YES ROCKS!

Wednesday, September 15, 2004


last wednesday i took a vectors test, and i was really excited because i thought i had kicked butt, i felt really good about all of my answers, i thought maybe i got them all right, i knew i for sure got a better score than adam, and look at my big ol' sentance! that's how mad i am!

jo took forever to get the tests back to us. a week. that's too long. our class isn't that big. see, now i'm making all these little dumb sentances! that's how mad i am! GRRRR!

i finally got my test back, and it's an 88. i made two really trivial mistakes and lost four points, and then made the smallest mistake on another one and lost eight points. eight out of eight! no partial credit! would you like to know what i did? i used cosine instead of sine. that's all! that's a very understandable mistake! and now it's plus zero for me!

i went and argued with him about it, and no good. he pretty much told me, "yeah, you blew it! but you're above average, so suck it up." GGRRRR!!!

yes, i was a lot above average, which was a 70, and i was also quite a bit above adam, who got a 79. i don't think he's used to me being better at something than he is. true, he's usually the brain. i'm glad i get to pay him back for all the help he gave me in physics. yay for friends.

GRRRRR!!! for dr. jo! i'm totally going to rip him on the class evaluations in december.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

here's a picture i took on campus a few weeks ago. what do you think about it?

yes indeed

last night i had SO much fun! i went to the sandia casino with mike to see a concert. not just any concert, my friends, oh no... we went to see yes.

yes, yes, yes!

this is probably my favorite band, except for the beatles, but really, who could beat the beatles? anyway, they were awesome! the venue was beautiful and the sun was setting and the sound was crisp... i loved it. our seats were great, but there really aren't bad seats in the place. when the show got going i went down to the front and stood on the lawn in front of the stage and just stared up at the band. it was so cool.

it was also really nice to go to a concert and not have to get sick of the people that just go to be seen or to act snobby or to crowd surf. the fans were all happy and friendly and there to enjoy the music. it was very refreshing. it was also different from other concerts i've gone to in that most of the crowd was over forty, since yes was popular in the 70's and 80's. that was nice too. when the show was over, it was middle-aged women, not teenage boys, that were standing next to me chanting "encore!"

that's another thing. these guys are old. this was their 35th anniversary tour. at one point, jon anderson introduced a song as one they had written in 1957. yikes. but it didn't affect their show by any means, they rocked. the band was awesome. steve howe is the most talented person i think i've ever seen. his acoustic solo was probably the highlight of the show, except of course the performance of "owner of a loney heart." that's not my favorite yes song, but it's high on my list and my favorite that they played last night. the band honestly seemed like they were having lots of fun, and the crowd was very appriciative of them. jon anderson started talking about the beauty of new mexico and how they can't really pin down what it is that makes up the american spirit. the band came back for one encore, a cover of an old beatles song. it was a great ending.

right now i'm wearing a black hat that says "yes" on the front and "35" on the back. rock and roll.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

five movie reveiws (reviews?)

i watched five movies this weekend, all that i hadn't seen before. if you haven't seen them either, no worries, i won't give away the ending. i really hate it when people do that.

The Butterfly Effect- this movie completely blew me away. it was by far the best one i saw this weekend. i should metion right now that i saw the director's cut, which i'm told has a totally different ending from the theatre version. some nudity, too. but the plotline was so awesome, i don't know how people come up with brilliant stuff like that.
the movie starts out with a flash-forward to the end, with ashton krutcher's character, evan, running through a building and hiding from people. he writes a note about trying to save a mysterious "her". it then goes back to his childhood, when he's seven and when he's thirteen, and begins the story. little evan seems to have a problem- he blacks out events in his childhood and can't remember what happened while he was out, even though others don't notice a difference in his behavior. his mom gets concerned about him, thinking that he had inheirited a mysterious "father's illness", and makes him start keeping journals and writing everything down so he can remember it better.
after a messed-up childhood, evan discovers that he can revisit events in his past by reading about them in his journal, and can even change what happened. of course by changing the past he changes the future, and he gets stuck going back and forth between his childhood and the alternate presents he creates, trying to find the perfect future for everyone he loves. you see the problem here i think.
like i said, the plotline was great, maybe just a little disturbing. i was very impressed with the versitility of the actors. one that went to particular extremes was william lee scott, who played adult tommy.
one thing that did bug me about this film was that the directors made it seem like a horror movie at first. the first half hour or so makes you think that little even is very psychotic, sadistic, murderous, etc, but that's really not how it is at all. there were definitely some not-so-pleasant scenes, but this was in no way a slasher movie, contrary to the initial vibes.
the butterfly effect is definitely a thinker. it's got some nudity and a lot of language and a lot of violence, even among the seven and thirteen-year-old characters. it's disturbing... but you have to see it!

Maid in Manhattan- i was a little bit prepared for this one... alicia of course told me how it ended several months ago, so there was no surprize. i really hate when she does that. but i guess it didn't ruin much since it says "cinderella story" on the tagline.
anyway, this movie was very enjoyable. i think jennifer lopez is extremely beautiful, especially when she's not in one of her music videos. there are a lot of great dresses in this film. the kid that played the son was great! he was funny and believable and really cute! he reminded me of my little brother. he was my favorite, along with the make-shift fairy-godmother, who was really the heroine's troublemaker co-worker.
the "prince charming" character didn't impress me too much. he wasn't very likeable or dreamy, in my opinion, and i didn't understand why she fell for him. it was because he liked her kid i guess. okay. it's true, girls are suckers for guys that like kids. guys, take note of this but don't abuse it.
all in all, this movie was interesting as movies go, but it wasn't very believable in the plotline. it was very predictable, not just because i knew the ending or because the end of cinderella is common knowledge anyway, but because there was no suspence. a nice little chick flick, but nothing special.

The Prince and Me- (a.k.a. cinderella story # 2) i liked this one better than maid in manhatten, but i still didn't get it. what's so great about the guy? it's frusterating.
this is the story of edward, the spoiled, perverted, lazy prince of denmark and the hardworking, movated, focused, sensible, independant, wisconsin college girl, paige. and that's just it! there was no kid to speed up the process in this story. i can't understand it when these goal-oriented intelligent women fall for these total guys. no offence guys, but really, what is the deal? that's why i never really liked the music man. the songs are great, to be sure, but the sensible librarian falls for this lying, cheating con artist. i hate that.
anyway, this film was a little too multi-faceted for me. there were too many stages of the relationship. they were strangers, enimies, friends, and lovers, in several different locations. and those categories were visited more than once each. it's like this movie crammed what might be a believable romance into... well, into a movie. it didn't work in my head.
what also didn't work is why she fell for him. he's very dreamy-looking, but she had her goals and he had no character, and i just don't see it.
i did enjoy this movie, even though it may not seem like it. there were some beautiful locations, very nice dresses, incredible palaces, and a handsome couple. but i don't think i'd watch this one again.

Knockaround Guys- i wanted to see this movie because i really like barry pepper and seth green, even though vin diesel doesn't inpress me much and i really can't stand john malkovich. i just think he's the worst actor in the whole world. i liked this movie a lot. there was a lot of language and a considerable amount of violence (the worst part was in the first ten minutes), but i did like it. i liked that seth green's character flew an airplane.
this really isn't a light-hearted movie, as it's about a mob kid trying to prove himself to his uncle and father. the movie starts out with the uncle telling the 12-year-old kid to kill one of the mob targets in the basement of the family restaurant. it has a lot of honest suspence, and i really like that about movies. i love the feeling that i don't know what's going to happen, for some reson. this one's not a waste of your time.

When Harry met Sally- okay, i never thought of billy crystal as attractive before, but in this movie i thought differently. he also does that lonely, lost-puppy look very well. i still kept thinking of him in an old man face saying lines from the princess bride, which messed me up for a while, but didn't spoil anything. meg ryan freaks me out, i'm not sure why, and this movie was no different. i see a lot of her, however, since she is one of mike's favorite actresses.
but about the movie... i really liked that they kept meeting at several year intervals, that made it interesting, and the initial 70's style was fun. billy crystal is so funny! and carrie fischer in her role as the quirky best friend was hilarious as well. i never knew that about her.
this movie is about two very different people who are looking for love and not really finding what they want. as they keep running into each other, they become good friends. of course a weird romance blossoms. the movie has serveral interruptions, so to speak, from old couples sitting on the couch telling the stories of how they met. it's very sweet. i'm not one to really like romantic movies, but i liked this one. and it was funny! but honestly, what did i expect, watching a film by the creator of the princess bride?
i took a quiz online once that said this was the movie i belong in. naturally i was very curious, but i just don't see it. i really don't. can you explain this to me?

Monday, August 30, 2004

here's to many more

i'm sure none of you know this, but last night marked five months to the day that mike and i have been together. since he bought me like twenty roses and a milk shake last month (and i forgot), i figured i'd better be on top of things this month. i wanted to get a coloring book, but the only one in the store was vandalized. i went with twelve peach-colored roses and a bottle of sparkleing bubbly.

mike gave me a watch. and drew me a picture.

the picture is of tinkerbelle, and she's really cute and surrounded by stars and the words to one of the songs from the musical, Peter Pan, in mike's pretty caligraphy handwriting. the watch has a thick brown leather band with pretty pink flowers and stars, and the face is all shiney and pink and square. it's perfect. there's no way i could have picked out a better watch for myself. i was bragging about it to everybody today.

aww, he's so cute! what a good boyfriend i have. :)

meet jessica

so i bet you're wondering by now... what's the new roommate like? as you may or may not know, kim graduated last spring (but no use, she's back doing undergrad, civil engineering this time), so i got a new freshman. last time i got a freshman it ended disasterously, we never spoke to each other and i ended up moving out. this time, however, i think it'll be fine. meet jessica.

jessica is an undeclared engineering major who plays the clarinet and bassoon who was drum major at her school for the last two years. we were emailing this summer, and when i got that information i formed a jessica in my mind. i figured short, long-haired burnette, athletic, and mean, loud, and in-your-face enough to be a drum major. i was really surprized. wrong on all points.

jessica is tall with short blond hair (although not as short as mine, since i cut off eleven inches this summer). while she must have incredible endurance to be a drum major, she doesn't have a particularly athletic build. the most surprizing part is that she's very soft spoken. she's not mean at all, not even sarcastic. she's very nice and already has several friends here, and she's from farmington, so she knows a lot of the same people mike knows. one thing that really impressed me is that she's not trying really hard to present this image like most freshmen do (and like i did). most of them are trying to be cool or crazy or impressive or snobby or rebelious or whatever. and she doesn't go that way.

and one more thing, she's totally cool. she brought these pretty cork boards that she made, and she has a desk calander that has a shoe for every day of the year. and she brought sparkley power-puff- girls handsoap. that's awesome!

we haven't been like super-bonding or anything, but i think we'll be just fine.

Saturday, August 28, 2004

revenge becomes me?

the "funniest" thing happened in economics on thursday...
ghosh was giving us some sample problems and then working through them, which took forever of course, because he read all of them out loud. no body was really listening. people fell into two categories; sit-back-and-dose, which i joined, or race-dr.-ghosh-to-finish-the-problem, which almost everyone else joined. josh was sitting between me and ben. he didn't have his calculator, so he kept trying to get ben's, which ben was still trying to use, and you see the problem.

since i was sitting back and dosing, i gave josh my calculator to use. he turned the screen on and laughed. the screen said "I HEART YOU HOT HOLLY!"

that could only be from mike. i think i blushed.

then dumb ol' josh passed it to ben. who passed it to the next person. and so on. soon the whole row was laughing. i KNOW i was blushing then.

it's cute that mike left me a calculator message... but josh is going to get it.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

back to school

confound and bebother this slow dorm connection! man did i get spoiled this summer with steve's wireless internet.
it's the first day of classes, and yes, i do have a lot of catching up to do on the twenty days you didn't hear from me. i promise it'll come soon. this semester i'm taking dynamics, engineering economics, thermo, fluids, vectors, and junior design, yay! i had to get my advisor dr. reilley to sign off on that one, because he controlls my life and happens to be the teacher. every time i go talk to him i feel like i've won a battle. he's so intimidating.
everyone and their dog is taking dynamics, including mike, jd, josh, kat, jeremy, and jon. in fact... josh and jon were in all my classes today, and we're already in the same project group for economics. we have ghosh for that class, the same teacher i had for statics. i guess this time we'll be prepared for a butt-kicker final. his stuttering seems to have gotten better, but he still has the craziest accent i've ever heard.
i have jr. design in one hour. i'm a little worried about dr. reilley. josh told me he wants to get an a in that class just so he can throw it in reilley's face.
yeah, speaking of josh... what a pain! in thermo i was playing with my bracelet and he whispered, "i bet if dr. zeman was teaching you'd pay attention." he still thinks i have a crush on him. i told him that if i was the flipping off kind of person i would totally flip him off.
and i had a thought today. an army of one. talk about an all-time recruiting scam. yeah sure, be an individual, join the military!

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

y'all get y'rass on over here

webguru: is Ms. Boltzmann there?
Devil64: she just left with scuba, i think they were finding food
webguru: ok
webguru: when Corrie gets back, tell her to get her ass on IM and tell me what's going on for tonight
webguru: in a kind way of course ;-)
Devil64: okay, i'll relay the message
Devil64: "adam saaays... get yerass on aim!"
webguru: good job
Devil64: y'rass
webguru: ahhh! you just made a new Texan cuss word!
Devil64: y'all get y'rass on over here
webguru: haha!!!!!!
webguru: we need to patent that one
Devil64: what is this "we" white man?
Devil64: ;-)

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

house update

i told you guys i'd keep you posted on the roommate situation, but thus far i haven't really held true to that. so here goes!

about wasson; the good, the bad, and the ugly:

1. the good: he's kind of becoming my go-to guy. if i have a "boy" question, i usually go to adam, hugo, or sometimes my brother. problems with that? adam sometimes thinks i'm hinting at something or have an agenda, so he doesn't tell the truth all the time. hugo is in las cruces, i'm in socorro. nick doesn't talk to me very much anymore because he's a workaholic.
the solution? not only do i live in the same town as steve, i live in the same house. and he gives me honest answers, even brutally honest sometimes. more often than not he tells me a lot more than i wanted to know, and christian and corrie gross out and carmelita yells at him, but i get my answer! problem solved.

2. the bad: i thought my mom was the noisiest eater in the world. i may have been wrong all these years. if wasson isn't louder, he's a really close second.
the problem here is that he gets up early to eat, and i get up early to study, and they really don't co-incide.

3. the ugly: he doesn't put food away. he'll just leave it out and it'll go bad, usually until corrie finds it and throws it out and lectures him. this doesn't really bug me that much, but it drives corrie crazy. what i think is funny is that carmen does the same thing.

about corrie; what roommate?

1. when corrie hangs out with the same people too much (read SCUBA), she kind of flips out and leaves town for a few days and doesn't tell anyone where she's going and turns her phone off. people who know her know that she's fine, but that doesn't mean that some people (read SCUBA) don't worry about her.
between corrie's freedom sprees, family visits, and work-related trips, i really don't have a roommate like 85% of the time. i just share a room with her stuff.

2. when corrie IS home, she has a cleaning frenzy and devours the house. we all feel bad that she cleans up after us, so we tidy everything up when we know she's coming home, but it doesn't seem to help. she cleans out the refrigorator every time, and throws a lot away. she's cleaned this house more than all of us put together, and she's not even here half of the time.

about scuba; nothing to report!

scuba steve is being his sweet, kind, goofy, funny, nerdy self and i am pleased to report that he has no annoying traits whatsoever. corrie may disagree with me on this note, but i really can't see why.

about christian; um.... where to start? this guy was the one i promised to keep you posted on. this is the one i couldn't figure out at the beginning. well, read on.

1. he thinks he's really romantic. not that he thinks he's a babe or whatever, but he tries to underline his impress-the-girls qualities. for one, he thinks he's a really great chef. ha! half the time he makes taco salad. he's picky about what utensils he uses, like he's a pro or something, and when he cooks he uses about every dish in the kitchen. it totally pisses me off.
his second i'm-a-hopeless-romantic trait is this introspective momma's boy thing he does. he really tries to analyze the family unit, and he's always asking steve how he knew carmelita was THE ONE, and he's always talking about his mom like she's the greatest perfect person in the world, and he's got all these stereotypes that he thinks girls agree with... like that guys are dumb or ugly or girls are in charge of relationships, blah blah blah. he tells mike to "watch out" that he "doesn't get in trouble" with me. i don't even want to talk about that one.
he thinks he has deep insight into the female mind. he would never say that out loud, he actually claims the opposite because he thinks girls like it, but yeah, he thinks he knows a lot. what-ev-er!
he collects weird "romantic" things like lists of the symbolism in different flowers and non-alcoholic wine and little zen teacups and stuff.
the list goes on and on. he's not liking his psychology class this summer because it's very evolution-based, but i could totally see him as a psych major. whatta weirdo.

2. he totally can't clean up after himself. he doesn't really understand the concept of rinsing off a dish before putting it in the sink. and like i said, he'll use every dish in the kitchen, and not only will he not clean them off, he won't even take them off the stove! today i came home to his 24-hour old raw meat cooking mess all over the range. i cleaned the stove for him, but left him the dishes. if corrie had found that, she would have killed us all.

3. he really bugs me! he says things like, "say, what do you think about..." and, "want me to whip you up somthing to eat?"
i know, i should get over it. i really should.
he's also really moody. carmelita noticed this before i did. sometimes he just ignores all of us. and once, when i wasn't here, he really went off on corrie for moving his stuff when she went on a cleaning spree.

4. i bug him! the other night he was playing risk with lee, scuba, and jon berg, and i was watching and trying to figure out the game. i guess i was being kind of annoying, because i kept asking what everything was for, but jon, scuba and lee just laughed at me and tried to distract me with their colored plastic stars (which worked, by the way, for about half an hour). but christian was totally bugged! it was pretty obvious. i also noticed that he was really annoyed with lee. how weird.

so that's christian. we've always been polite to each other, but if he ever picks a fight with me, boy, will i let him have it. it's not that i think he's a jerk or a bad guy... i just don't like sharing a house with him.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

durango dog

this weekend my boyfriend took me on vaction! we went to durango to visit his sister and to farm town to visit his parents. well, he went to visit, i went to meet. durango was lots of fun. i had never been there, but it's a nice out-doorsy kind of town.

of course we stopped in burquey on the way to watch the planes take off... wow, i love airplanes. we watched them for a long time. i one month i'll be ON a plane going to boston. :)

we drove and drove and drove... we went straight to durango because we were a little late (from watching the airplanes, no doubt). durango is really pretty. it's nice and green and there are cute little houses and cool old buildings everywhere.

the apartment complex where mike's sister lives was weird... her neighbors on one side were smoking a bong with the door open, and her neighbors on the other side were screaming and cussing at each other. mike thinks that place is like a hippy town, but i'm not so sure. i think it's more like an athletic town.

the first thing we did was go inner-tubing down the river. that was fun! the water was really cold, but the sun was nice and warm. we passed some people sitting out on the rocks, and they started making fun of us because we weren't really wet. so mike dipped his head back to put it in the river, sat up, and then lost his balance and fell in. he actually fell in like six more times, but i stayed on my tube... which was weird, because my tube was kind of too big for me. the river ride seemed to go really quickly, even though we were in there for probably two hours.

the guys tubing behind us had this awesome dog... we didn't catch his name, so we just called him durango dog. he was a sivler and gray husky, and we was wearing a red harness. he swam down the river next to people, came right up to our inner tubes so we could pet his head, then he'd go climb the bank and shake himself off and look over the river like he owned it, then he'd jump back in or go chase the ducks... he was so, so cool. if i could be durango dog, i'd be awesome.

after tubing, we drove around the town for a while, got some coffee, and hit old town. that was touristy, but fun. there were lots of really old buildings that were fun to look at. there were restaurants on every corner, too, and they all smelled delicious! we went into a glass shop, a book store, the chocolate shop, the toy store... then we met mike's sister and parents at an italian restaurant for dinner. mike looks just like his dad... i also think his dad is very handsome. his mom is really pretty and very sweet, and she always kept the conversation going. we had fun, and then we left for farm town.

i was SO tired, i could hardly keep awake in the car. you know how your head dipps to the side when you fall asleep in class, and then you have to sit up quickly? i was doing that number all the way back to farm town. when we got there, mike read me the beranstein bears and i read him the max lucado book we bought at the bookstore. then came the sleep, sleep, sleep... i dreamed about durango dog.

Friday, July 09, 2004

wasson found blinkin in the front yard. that's all four baby swallows that died.


ye are of more worth than many sparrows

herny died. he was alive when i left for class at eight, and i wanted to take care of him, but steve and steve told me to leave him alone, and that his mom would take care of him. when i came back at ten henry was lying there with his little feet in the air.

we found another baby bird under the ivy. i guess one of them didn't fly away. blinkin was hanging out for a while, i watched his parents trying to teach him to fly. i don't know where he went, but he's gone now. today his parents tore down the nest. it's all over our porch now.

how sad! three out of four of their little birds died. i was telling mike last night that i don't think that's how things usually happen. i thought swallows had a little more of a life expectancy than four days. he told me that if four out of four birds made it, there would probably be too many birds.

i wish that's how things worked though. i wish everything was happy. i really wanted to watch those little birds get bigger and learn to fly. i wanted them all to be fat like blinkin. wasson told me that swallows come back to their nests and use them again, or other families of swallows move in. now none of that is going to happen.

Psalms 84:3 - Yea, the sparrow hath found a house, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, even thine altars, O LORD of hosts, my King, and my God.

Matthew 10:29 - Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.

Luke 12:6,7 - Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God? But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

one of the baby birds died. :( we found it on the ground this morning. i think it was nod.
i think another one flew away.

blinkin and henry are left. blinkin is really fat.... he is one healthy bird. his feathers are looking nice, i bet he'll do just fine.

then there's henry. today i was looking at them and blinkin was sitting there, all fat, and scrawny little henry was still in the nest. he looked like he was freaking out. he pulled himself out of the nest and i was terrified that he was going to fall, but he didn't. he crawled along the ledge and he sounded like he was crying the whole time. he looked so miserable, and then he sat on the edge and looked over. it looked like he was considering jumping. he wanted to end it all.

i stood there for about an hour, trying to talk him out of it and calm him down, and i even moved a chair under the ledge so he didn't have as far to fall. there were a few times he tottered on the edge and i thought he would fall for sure, i i got ready to catch him. poor little guy!

his mom came and tried to take care of him. i would have stayed longer, but i had to go to work.

when i came home the first thing i did was check the nest. fat ol blinken was still there, but henry was gone! but he wasn't on the ground either. corrie and scuba showed me that he had crawled under our bench and was hanging out there. wasson told me that earlier that he was under the rosebush.

i hope he'll be okay. if he's still out there tomorrow i want to take care of him. poor henry.

(we all think they are swallows.)

Friday, July 02, 2004

crrreeeeeeepy... and gross!

i got home from work tuesday night at about eleven, and i was talking to my sister on the phone when i got out of my car. as soon as i did, i heard the most terrifying noise... i couldn't figure out what it was or where it was coming from, because it seemed to be coming from all over the place! it was near and then far, and then across the street and it was SO loud! it sounded like deformed duck calls, but they were on the ground and i didn't see anything. i was really creeped out, especially because i just watched a scary zombie movie with mike last weekend, and the noises didn't really sound like the zombies on the movie, but what do i know? it took me forever to get into the house because i kept fumbling with the key, and i fully expected the blood-covered living dead to run up and kill me, but, as you probably expected, i got in fine. that didn't stop me from locking and slamming the door behind me.

so the crisis should have been over, but it wasn't. usually when i come home from work, i find carmelita, steve, jon berg, christian and one or two of his study buddies, and sometimes scuba and corrie hanging out and playing foosball at the house. that night there was no one. the whole house was dark. and it was actually later than i usually get home! my sister was still on the phone, telling me i was dumb, but i was really starting to get scared. i could hear the noises from inside the house too, that's how loud they were. i called carmen, hoping steve was with her. he was, and actually, he answered her phone. well, then i felt stupid, because what was i supposed to say? "there's weird noises outside and i'm all by myself and it's scary!" please.

i tried to play it cool and just ask, "hey, what are you guys up to? and by the way, what the heck is all this noise on the road?" but steve saw right through that. he said, "aww... are you scared?" then he told me what was going on.

they were frogs. really loud, sexually aroused male frogs attracting the females with their huge, throaty mating calls. they were in our road because of all the heavy rain we've been having, because our road floods. and appearently, i'm the only one in town that's never heard it before. good ol'desert upbringing... how embarrassing. but i guess feeling stupid is better than being zombie food.

so that's my story. the next day when i was walking to class, sure enough, there were all kinds of dead frogs all over the place. it's amazing that something so small can be SO loud.

full nest

today carmen came over to my house to work on our pointless, pointless english homework. i was really attention deficit today, and was staring out the window watching the bird that lives under our porch roof. then i started yelling and carmen was annoyed because i ran outside.... because there was more than one bird in that nest! it was full of little babies!

we thought there were two baby birds in there, but then we saw three, and not three, but FOUR! they are so cute! well, y'know, not really, they are baby birds after all, they have fuzz sticking up all over them and weird heads and big beaks, but the concept is cute. we named them winken, blinken, nod, and henry. henry is my favorite, he's the cutest. no, i can't tell them apart, but if you come over to my house to see them and think that one is cuter than the others, that one is henry. :)

fourth of july is in two days! this weekend corrie, wasson, and christian are all leaving, and scuba's bringing curtis over, and i'm bringing my little brother and sister. of course my sister is bringing al and ellen, so it will be a full, full house. it should be fun though.

Thursday, June 24, 2004


okay, when we were kids and first got into x-men, we all dreamed about what we wanted our mutant power to be. gambit was my personal favorite, but i still wish like crazy that i was born telekenetic. i'd be sitting in class and the lecture would be boring, and i could start moving things around with my mind, writing on the board, invisibly throwing things at people i don't like. it would be so cool.

so yeah, check this out. i wasn't really into x-men quite so much, i was really more of a ninja-turtle girl, but was there a guy that was just super-strong? the mutant era has begun. coooooooool.

my ims are so funny lately....

The Rag boy is Scott

Devil64: i am SO dyslexic today, you wouldn't believe it
Devil64: i had a dream last night that i was trying to dial 911, and i kept dialing 119, i'm serious
RagOrder: ouch
Devil64: or actually, it was 0000000119
RagOrder: that sounds like a sucky dream
RagOrder: was it a nightmare?

Devil64: no, not really
Devil64: macgyver saved me, how cool is that?
RagOrder: whoa!
Devil64: and he was driving a stagecoach
Devil64: it was sweet
RagOrder: so if it was a nightmare, he would have turned into jack o'neill, right?
Devil64: ha ha ha!
Devil64: no, he was definitely macgyver
RagOrder: oh good
RagOrder: i don't think macguyver has ever been in one of my dreams... i wonder why

Devil64: maybe you weren't in enough trouble
RagOrder: maybe my situations don't require much ingenuity
RagOrder: like bombs from a bike or something like that

Devil64: man, he is so cool
RagOrder: yup
RagOrder: well it is way past my bedtime
RagOrder: good luck on your test

Devil64: good luck getting into trouble in your dream so macgyver... or jack, if you want.... can save you!!!!
RagOrder: maybe major carter can save me....
RagOrder: :-)

Devil64: ooo
Devil64: have fun
RagOrder: bye

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

how nerdy are you?

i really think i am nerdier than this... just because i don't own a weird al cd... grrrr...

You are 39% geek
You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator.

Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend.

You [to Geek]: We need more than that, Scotty. You'll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines!

Geek [to You]: I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals!

You [to Normal]: He wants to know if he gets overtime.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at

jolly old england

(the web guru is adam, the devil is me)

webguru: cherrio! beautiful day isn't it? love the weather, none of that damned fog that's so common in London
Devil64: yes... but this bloody, bloody sunshine! it makes my skin break out in all kinds of gastly splotches. makes me quite un-fanciable.
Devil64: i'm starting to miss jolly old england...
webguru: that's true old chap, but some sunshine is good once in a while, otherwise we'll all get rickets and be confined to wheelchairs!
Devil64: aye, right you are.
webguru: so are you coming to the grand lunch today? it'll be jolly fun
Devil64: is this the meeting that carmelita spoke of? i'm afraid i only just learned of it. honestly, love, i do wish you'd tell me these things earlier!
webguru: terribly sorry dear, but you know how my mind is these days
webguru: yes, it's the orientation training meeting Carmen spoke of, and there's free lunch provided
Devil64: that'll be bully. haven't had a proper tea in quite some time.
webguru: so true, these damned New Mexicans and their green chile and booze, they just don't know how to have a nice cup of tea
Devil64: quite right! another reason i'd rather be summering on the island. wherabouts is this jolly lunch to take place, love?
webguru: it'll be in Brown Hall, room 210, upstairs
webguru: hold on one second darling, I'm calling my dear friend Karen to make sure there'll be enough tea for you
Devil64: right-o. shall i hold my breath?
webguru: no need to, there's tea enough for the queen and her whole entourage
Devil64: good lord!
webguru: be back in a few darling, I need to use the loo right quick
Devil64: right then! see you at lunch, dear?
webguru: yes will do, see you there in about a quarter
Devil64: aye, until then
webguru: right-o

Saturday, June 19, 2004

can't sleep... again

have you ever been upset about something, you don't know what, and you can't think of anything that will make you feel better? that's where i'm at right now. i feel like a bratty little kid, and, worse than that, i feel like i'm acting like my mother.

so i guess at this time of the night (or morning) i should be contemplating deep thoughts about the existence of man or the purpose of life or the riddle of death and so forth, but all i've got is restlessness and nothing to do. i could clean the shower! that would be productive. i could finish my homework! go wash my car... but the real disturbing thing is that i feel like i have to save some of these activities for tomorrow night, just in case i can't sleep again.

i feel so totally alone. maybe it's because in my house of four roommates, christian is the only one here. but i think it's because i'm upset and i don't know what i want.

i hate to leave you with that hanging feeling, but hey... i've been hanging for a while now.

Friday, June 18, 2004

new perspective on politics?

so far i have remained pretty much politically non-affiliated. i have a few viewpoints that i feel strongly about, like abortion is horrible and really shouldn't happen at all. girls who are in trouble need HELP, not a dangerous way out. i also think gun control is pretty pointless. i'm really anti-conflict though, and usually keep things to myself.

meet my supervisor at the nursery, gary. he's a hard-core conservative, and i happen to be on his republican spam list. some of the arguments are good, some are ridiculous, and then there are stories about soldiers and such that are clearly made-up. but he sends jokes and stuff with the propaganda, so i don't really care that much. like i said, anti-conflict.

my best friend adam is incredibly liberal. true, i have a private theory that being a liberal is his own way to rebel against his parents without denouncing his faith, but he has very good points and explanations to way things aren't working out for us. he is entirely against the war, a stark contrast to gary, who wants to nuke the place and be done with it.

but about me...

yesterday morning i was doing my usual surfing the web and general procrastinating between class and work, wondering what i was going to eat for lunch and wishing i didn't have any homework. i stumbled across a link on another weblog that i'd been curious about for a long time. anyone heard about the beheading of nicholas berg? my understanding is he was an american in baghdad who was captured and executed, and the video of his death made the rounds on the internet. i had heard gary say something about it in passing one day.

why did i open the link? was it morbid curiosity? boredom? whatever the reason, i watched it, and it was honestly the most horrible thing i have ever seen. it's not like in the movies.

the video opened with a man identifying himself and naming his family members, then went to him sitting on the floor with five or six masked guys standing behind him. their spokesman talked for about four minutes in another language, and then they started yelling and jumped on their captive. it took them forty-one seconds to cut off his head.

yesterday i couldn't eat or sleep. i couldn't stop thinking about what i would do if that man in the video was someone that i knew, or worse, someone i loved. i can't believe there are people out there that would do such a thing. i was really freaked out all day... and all night.

today i did some research. i read a lot about nicholas berg and his family and the days before he was kidnapped, and a lot of stories about him from people he had known. i also read a lot of angry letters and conspiracy theories. those last two weren't very encouraging. one letter would say, "the liberals are insane to be so blind and blah blah blah" and another would say, "he's dead because the bush administration is a global joke and blah blah blah". even in the face of something so horrible, people can't agree on what needs to be done. and then there are theories out there that this man was actually killed by the us government to create some pro-war sentiment.

what is going on here? something horrible happened, and everyone is using it to serve their own causes. the webposts told me to do everything from march on the white house to join the army and kill a few terrorists of my own. i guess what i'm getting at is that i want to do something to help, but i don't know what needs to be done. no one knows what needs to be done because everyone is so mad that they can only see what they want to do. i don't want something like that to happen again, but what can i do?

really, i want to know! what can i do?

Thursday, June 17, 2004

new perspective on the ee class

i was looking over my very disappointing ee test yesterday and noticed that i lost four point on a problem that i had actually done correctly. i waited around after class to tell dr. oravecz, and when i was explaining it to him, this other dude perked uo his lazy ears and grabbed his test and ran over. dr. oravecz was apologizing as he pulled out his grade book to change my grade. i was super-happy, thinking that i was going to get four points back (which would have brought me up to a B), when mr. too-lazy-to-look-at-my-own-test rushes in and said, "oh! i did the same thing!" and shoved his test under the professor's nose.
dr. oravecz checked him out and told him that he didn't get his points because he didn't talk about the current or something, and then he looked over mine again to see if the current was included in MY explaination.
it wasn't.
he gave me one point back.
grrrr! i totally wanted to cuss the lazy dude out! he couldn't just let me have my points! bastard.
but afterwards dr. oravecz looked over my whole test and gave me another point on another problem, so i've got a B-, anyway. then he told me not to worry, i'm above the class average and going really well on the homework. then he asked me about my major, my gpa, how many years i've been here, stuff like that.
maybe this class won't be too bad. the final is 50% of the final grade, so i could be bummed about how much the final counts for, or i could be relived that i have a lot of room to mess up.
dun worry... be happy!

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

wow! you totally smell like trash!

last week i got a job at the val verde steakhouse and cafe. my job is waitressing, catering, working at the coffee shop, and washing dishes, which is what i'm doing this week. i know what you're probably thinking... "gross! dishes!", but it's really not that bad. washing dishes is easy. you just wash the dishes until you're done, and then you're done!
but what IS that bad is closing up. i started on the dinner shift last night, which was just fine until the end. i only had like two more dishes to wash, and i was thinking "score! i'll be out of here by nine!" and the chef told me, "you know you have to sweep and mop the whole floor, right?" no, no one told me that. no big deal. i started mopping.
then, "you know you have to clean out these jugs, right?" (the jugs were like sixty pounds and full of bleach water)
then, "you know you have to take those jugs downstairs, right?"
then, "you know you have to take out the trash, right?"
i was there for another hour and a half. but alan took out the trash because he felt sorry for me, and he made me some ice cream. it meant i had to mop the floor two more times because first he spilled the trash and then tracked mud through the kitchen, but it was worth it not to touch that discusting trash.
i was pretty cheerful last night. but i have to close every day this week through sunday, and i have a feeling i'm going to be a lot less nice by then... especially since i will be working and smelling gross while my boyfriend is in town and i could be hanging out with him.
i hope i can stay happy!
remember that test i destroyed? yeah, i got a C. a high C, but still... this class is going to be suckier than i thought.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

hhmm, now... what fruit are YOU?

Take the What Fruit Are You? test by Ellen!


i took my first ee test today, and bwah, hah, hah, i destroyed it! i MAY have aced it, but i don't know exactly how this teacher grades. his name is dr. oravecz, and he's hungarian and adorable. he has funny phrases for things, for example he calls homework "the task". he also wears he same suit like every day... and i've had five classes so far and only seen two ties. i'm really glad that i seem to have done well on this test because, let me tell you, i completely BOMBED the first quiz. eight out of twenty. ouch.

my other class this summer is technical writing. my teacher is dr. griffin, and she is also adorable. of course adam, carmelita, john, and adam's new roomie bryan are in that class, so it's a lot more fun than ee. during class adam and i comment on the teacher... she's really trendy. she always wears funny, cute little clothes and cool shoes. she's also surprizingly muscular for a fifty-something english teacher, and i really like how she does her hair. she kind of ties it in stratigically-places knots. that class is going okaaay... how i do is yet to be seen. but hey, i don't mean to brag, but i am awesome at writing papers. did i tell you i got less than one point less than the highest grade in my materials lab? that actually really bugs me. if i'd only tried a LITTLE harder... and i could have...

you know what? i like my boyfriend. what a cutie. :)

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

keep those fingers crossed...

here i am, back in socorro, where the weather is cool, the schoolwork is hard, and the boyfriend is only an hour and ten minutes away! hooray!

i moved into my house on saturday, but nobody was really around until sunday night. i am liking my living situation very much! meet the roommates:

steve wasson is the owner of the house, and therefore the landlord. i've known him for a long time, and he happens to be engaged to one of my best friends, carmelita, so she's over here a lot. steve is an electrical engineering grad student, and he works in the robotics department with my other best friend adam. steve's cool, he's funny, and he's easy to hang out with, although he does sometimes put his foot in his mouth. he's also the oldest one in the house, a whopping 26! dun dun dun!

corrie lambracht is the only other girl in the house, so the two of us are sharing the master bedroom and bathroom. i'm the first roommate corrie's had in a couple years. we get along great, but don't nessasarily hang out that much. she is a fourth-year astrophysics major, and this summer she's working on a high-tech telescope and at a day camp for super-nerdy high school kids that are studying astronomy. corrie and i are both really good friends with adam, so he'll be over here a lot, too. corrie is also extrememly cool. she's a great leader, good at organizing things, and (this might sound dorky) a very effective communicator.

scuba steve bract has been corrie's study buddy / co-worker for several years now. he just graduated in may with a degree in astrophysics, and he's not quite sure where he'll be next semester, because for some reason his 4.0 gpa didn't attract the attention of many grad schools. this summer he's also working on the telescope and at the nerd camp, so he and corrie will probably be sick of each other soon, since they work together and then come home to the same house. scuba is the sweetest, most polite guy in the entire world. he's such a cutie, too. he's an enormous nerd, but he's so incredibly endearing that it's really hard to notice. he's very soft-spoken and hard-working, and i think he's totally cool. he happens to have a huge crush on my former roommate kim as well, who is also around this summer.

christian w. brown is the fourth and final roommate, and the one i know the least. he's sharing a room with scuba. he just finished his first year of college working towards a degree in computer science, the weirdest of the weird. (cs majors reading this, i apologize, but face it, you've got some real freaks in your major.) christian seems to be on the normal side however, except for his tendancies toward zen, new-agey stuff, like kokology and crazy teas. he's a gentleman, very nice, extrememly smart and convicted, a good conversationalist, and has impeccable manners. he and i are the only ones in the house actually taking summer courses. he's enlisted for calc 3 and psychology. his good buddies lee (who i think is hilarious) and andrew (who is so cute! he reminds me of my brother) have been hanging around lately. all in all i think christian's pretty cool, but i'm still trying to figure him out. i'll keep you posted.

so that's it for the house! together we are very funny and very intelligent. i'm really looking forward to this summer, i think it will be a lot of fun!
i'll fill you in on the classes and the job another time... be assured, there is a lot to say! think hungarian grandpa, steak sauce, trendy buff elderly lady, creepy cook, resumes, and the rotery club...

and let you imagination go wild!

Thursday, May 27, 2004

how's life?

ahhh.... home again.
yeah, not really.
tonight i got into a pretty heated argument with my sister, which really wasn't that interesting, but resulted in her going to a lame party with my brother and me trying to walk all the way home from the hilton.
on the good side... hey, i'm back in a town with a hilton! and my grandparents saw me walking down the street and gave me a ride. i was actually enjoying my walk, but i didn't want my grandma to worry. she worries.
elizabeth is here again. she gets into fights with my mom all the time. she keeps saying smart-alecky things to me, like, 'holly, when you grow up, let me know.' tonight i was particularly shocked that she could make so much noise drinking her milk. honestly, it was incredible. i didn't say anything though. it's best to keep those things quiet around her.
on the good side, i'll be leaving in a week and i won't have to see elizabeth after that. for those of you who don't know, elizabeth is a girl that is two years older than me (22) that my mom decided to adopt two summers ago. i know what you're thinking... hey, i thought you couldn't be adopted after the age of eighteen? yeah, that should be the way things work.
i'm back at the nursery working for a while. the best thing that's going for me here is the weather. it's been cool lately, not just cool for the summer or cool for las cruces, but actually chilly. i'm learning all the names of plants again. all in all, work is going great... but there's this new guy duane who is SO annoying! he's such a suck-up and the biggest know-it-all. grr.
tomorrow my little brother nick graduates from high school! i think i'm going to get him some hockey gloves, like that's something i can afford... but i feel bad that everyone made such a huge fuss over my graduation, and no one cares that much about his. poor little brother bear.
this morning at 9:30 my aunt had a baby boy! i have a little cousin! he was like ten pounds (holy crap) and his name is alexander jefferson. i haven't seen him yet, but my grandparents were talking about him a lot on the car ride. i guess my uncle is really excited. how cute!
i guess that's it for a while. one week til i go back to tech and we start filming for "the real world: socorro". that's what my hockey buddies are calling it. no one can believe i'm going to share a house with corrie and three guys. but i'm excited!

Sunday, May 02, 2004

here i am!
The Guardian
Adventure, thrill seeking, loyal, with high goals
for themselves, and equally high standards for
society. They protect what they stand for, and
those that cannot stand up for themselves.

A unique perspective on one's inner self: who are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

i'm a guardian angel! neato. i think the description fits me pretty well, but i think this was one of those quizzes that people can find a little bit of themselves in every answer. okay.

one more week of school (two tests and three homework assignments), then a three-day finals week, and i'm done for this semester! yay! then i have three weeks to work at the nursery again before i come BACK up to socorro to take my summer courses. this summer it's electrical engineering for non-majors and technical writing. i'm going to live with steve and christian, and maybe corrie. i'm excited! i've never had guy roommates before, not counting my brother and hoyoung. and i don't count them. it'll be interesting, since steve is my best friend carmen's fiance. stay tuned, this summer is sure to be an entertaining one!

Saturday, May 01, 2004

ok, NOW i'm mad

alright, i don't know if anyone knew this but i am a huge hockey fan. HUGE. and this is the first season in a long time that i have actually had time to watch the play-offs. i was really excited about this, up until all the teams i care about were suddenly OUT. watch this.
teams i care about:
DALLAS STARS (my favorite team ever! yay, dallas!)
--- out
new jersey devils (my buddy kevin's favorite team, that i root for in case dallas is not around)
--- out
st. louis blues (my buddy hugo's favorite team, that kevin and i root for in case we both are teamless)
--- out
boston bruins (my boyfriend mike favorite team, that i don't really root for because they aren't very good, but still, i care)
--- out
the penguins (my ex-favorite team that i divorced after the jerks traded jagr)
--- out
i think you get the idea. actually, i'm not being entirely truthful here. there is still one team in the running that i care about. it's colorado. and when i say care, i mean hate. i don't know why people hate sports teams. it's totally irrational. but i HATE colorado! i like them a lot better now that roy is retired (sorry roy fans, it's nothing personal, i promise. yeah, he's good. no, i have no reason to not like him. but i don't), but i still love to see them loose. my friend jeremy says they are like the yankees... everyone holds a strong opinion. my opinion is utter loathing.
so honestly.... why have they won their second game in a row against san jose in over time? any of my fellow ABC (Anybody But Colorado) fans will be happy to know the answer. they won twice when they should have been swept for this reason alone: my friend jd prayed for them.
it's all over.
once last semester jd thought the weather was a bit hot so he prayed for rain. it POURED for three days. the roads closed.
remember game seven last year when the red socks got illiminated? they blew their comfortable lead because jd prayed that the other team would win it. same thing happened with the cubs and the marlins.
nice that jd can petition heaven for things like that. CRAPPY that he doesn't care about hockey at all, he just prayed for them because he knows i want them to loose. my only hope here is to trick him into thinking i want san jose to loose so he'll pray for them. DANGIT!
I have so much homework I can't go to bed.
I'm tired and I'm bored and I've knots in my head
From sitting, just sitting here day after day. . .
It's WORK! How I hate it! I'd much rather play.
I'd take a vacation, run off for a rest,
If I could find someone to go take my test.
If I could find someone, I' fly away free....
Would YOU like to do my homework for me?

No, I didn't really write it. Dr. Suess wrote most of it, I just changed some of the words because the complaining and longing to have fun inspired me! And hey, if you know which Dr. Suess book this is from, you are SO cool. You should write me a note. And hey, now I have the comment feature, so that's entirely possible! NEAT.

Thursday, April 29, 2004

no-go on the initials in the wet cement. last night i was sick because i went and ate some nasty food at the cafeteria, so by the time night fall came around, i was doing as little walking as i could. that's college for ya. either you're up all night studying or you're up all night sick from the freakin' bad food.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

the dorm next to mine is being re-constructed into an office building. this is sad on many levels. first, all the boys that used to live there who were really fun and my friends are now WAY across campus, like a five-minute walk. yeah, it's not that far, techies are lazy. second, the work day for these construction guys starts at six-thirty. the work day also usually starts with a jackhammer or something equally loud right outside my window. yeah, it's not early, techies are lazy.
but right now it's not so bad. they just poured some new cement down there, and there's two guys very dilligently sweeping off the surface to make sure it is smooth and blemish-free. the problem is, there's only one broom. so these two big burly construction workers are very carefully, very tenderly tossing the broom back and forth over their fresh cement so they won't mess up the work they just did. it's one of those things you have to stop and watch.
but that won't stop me from sneaking down there tonight and putting my initials in the cement. bwah hah hah!

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

she's done it again!

that's right. the third materials lab write-up. it was not as painful as the second, but it did require an all-nighter, a caffine pill, breakfast at denny's, and five hours in josh's room. i got the highest grade (actually, the only 'A', and it was a high one) on the first write-up and the highest 'A' on the second write-up too, which surprized me because i thought i turned it in pretty incomplete. i only have two weeks to rest before the last one!
i'm a little concerned about school here... i am kicking butt in materials lab, but that's only one credit hour. i'm doing great in mechanics, but really the only grade that matters there is the final. materials is just about the easiest class ever, so i'm doing fine, but i never go to class and the teacher knows this. i haven't gone to diffeq in like two weeks, and i've resorted to bribery with the grader. that leaves physics and physics lab.... ug. i try so hard in those classes. i just suck at physics.
it doesn't help that i am completely un-motovated. i really don't want to work on anything.
i don't want to but i must, dear, dear. i have a physics quiz in half an hour. i'd say it's time to hit the books.
i remember when i was SO good at school...

Friday, April 02, 2004

now it is an ugly day

okay, here's the deal with me. i'm obsessed about records. like keeping records and setting records and breaking my own records. if i can go four and a half days without eating at the cafeteria, i'm all for it. if i can do three days without sleep, heck yeah! it's hard-core to have outrageous records. i have never been skiing in my life. i take great pride in telling people i have never been bowling. i have had ample opportunities to go bowling, but i never have, because if i did, i couldn't say that i'd never been bowling anymore. my record of twenty years, four monhs and a few weeks of not bowling will be spoiled and i'll have to start over. it's not because i'm deprived. it's becasue i'm obsessed with records. i've never done my laundry on campus or gone to the el camino family restaurant or visited the school's famous mineral museum. just to say i've never done it. it's completely irrational.
so does that mean just because i've never had a boyfriend, i'm going to want to keep that record going too? i've never had my heart broken by a guy. why should i stop that trend now? and just because i've always gotten along with a friend and never had any kind of disagreement with him, is that a good reason for me to NOT tell him that he's bugging me? because it will break our otherwise-spotless relationship record?
i'm really confused right now. i've broken records that i didn't want to break. i've set new records, too. i dealt with things badly and caused a friend that i care about to not talk to me for several days in a row... another broken record. i think i'm fast on the road to doing other things i've never done before, and i don't like it.
i keep telling myself i'm just in a bad mood. i'll feel better about things later when everything gets back to normal. but i think i'm kidding myself. things aren't going to get back to normal.
i should have listened.