Tuesday, January 31, 2006

aim and blogger, 800 a.d. style

i think brit lit is getting to my head a little.

peter: so how did you like beowulf?
me: i'd read it before... i just needed to read it again so i could ace the quiz!
me: but i like it. i wish i talked that way.
peter: i wish i could just talk without getting tongue-tied.
me: and lo, though her house-mate was wicked in spirit and deceitful of tongue, the heart-heavy student made no attack, but went quick to her work.
peter: hahahaha, pretty good!

nay, she raised no defense 'gainst that wreaker of woe,
but turned her toil to the hall of textbooks;
where, under dusty gales and bulbs a-flicker,
that ruddy scholar, the word-problem's bane,
fought three dimentions and factors of friction,
seeking her sore-earned rest. two weeks she toiled,
tireless at her task, mighty in merit,
a master of pencil and guilded scrolls,
until the homework, that man-loathed monster
cursed by GOD, felt it's half-life slipping.
there she slew the fiend, spilling it's life-blood
'til the ground was murky and black with gore.

long faithful, her thanes had kept watch,
with cautious breath counted her days with care,
seeking her standard rising from battle.
and lo, they spied her, those dearly-missed friends,
and bore her to the mead-hall, festooned as it was,
awaiting the victory song. there feasted they,
those weary soldiers, those steadfast students,
and rejoyced in the passing of the woeful beast.
such were the days in times of olde.

sounds nice. hmm. but if you think i'm really done with my homework, yeah right! actually i'd... better get to that...

Sunday, January 29, 2006

# 11

weekends in socorro aren't nearly as bad when carmelita and steve are here. actually, as much as i love carmen, i think the real difference is having ol' captain wasson back.

steve tends to fix things while he's here. and he cleans, too. it's really nice living in a house with clean things that work. plus, he's always hanging out in the living room, so carmen and i are less likely to go sit alone in our respective rooms and opt instead to all be together. and this is his house. it has been for a long time. when he's not here, something always seems a little off.

and, of course, we eat a lot better when steve is here, too. have to mention that. if those two had been in albuquerque this weekend, i probably would have ended up making up my own ramen noodle invention (my latest is "lemon-pepper chicken"). but tonight steve made us greek chicken with rice and cheese and broccoli, and even made up some dr. suess-ish rhyme to go with it. i'm a sucker for dr. suess.

over this delightfully not-ramen meal, we got into a conversation about cooking and being married. steve was telling me that it's been interesting, because neither he or carmen are big on cooking (which you'd never guess from reading the previous paragraph, right?), and neither of them really has time to learn.

in my family, my dad cooks. that's good, because he's great at it. my mom does not cook. in fact, if my dad is out of town, my mom settles for her disgusting carbless food and we poor hungry children have to fend for ourselves.

okay, it's not that bad. we're old enough to make our own food. my sister and i can each make about four dishes really well. but the real gem is my brother. he can put food together and make something truly awesome. if he has all the ingredients. and if he's not working at the restaurant. and if you can get him to actually do something besides edit pictures of my little brother so he looks like he's dueling the neighbor kid with a lightsaber (which, admittedly, he's also very good at).

and wouldn't you know it, my granddad is also an excellent cook. to tell you the truth, a lot of his food is exotic and tends to freak me out, but my family brags about him.

seeing a pattern?

okay, so the men in my family cook. i think i need to marry a guy who can definitely hold his own against this crowd. and he needs to be a good cook for his own sake, so the poor guy doesn't end up eating lemon-pepper chicken ramen four nights a week.

marriage criteria # 11- must be a good cook.

wondering what the first ten are? well, that's another story. :)

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

this sucks

i've very recently been convicted of the unpleasant connotations of the word "suck." but sometimes, it's just the only word to use.

i know you've heard it before, but it's still as true as ever. living in the same house with my ex-boyfriend's new fiancee is horrible. i can't really talk to carmen about this, since she's trying to play the role of fair landlady and not take sides. josh and adam have been out of town, and i hate feeling like i'm complaining around them. that leaves my poor little sister. she calls me up all the time with cute high school stories about teachers and basketball games, and she probably hangs up feeling depressed because i'm such an eeyore.

you may be thinking, she really needs to get over this. i don't know how easy that is when you don't see reminders of the situation several times a day, but i do. and it is so hard. i don't like saying "impossible", after all i do think about zombies every day, but this is rough.

according to scientists who are very smart and know what they are talking about, january 24th is the most depressing day of the year. i think it has something to do with failed new year's resolutions and weather. normally i would say that the scientific society is just being silly, but it just so happens that yesterday was also mike's birthday. carmen said she hoped i was going to forget, but yeah right.

last year i made him a little house out of his favorite candy bars. that took a long time. the year before that i bought him a shirt and some other stuff and "wrapped" it in a kix box. he thought it was cereal for a few days before he opened it. and the year before that i drew him a picture of his name. i'm good at making fancy bubble-letters.

my timing yesterday was really bad. i walked into class a few minutes later than usual, and had to take the only seat left... right next to mike. somehow, i was very distracted and took the best notes i've ever written from a ghosh lecture. strange.

kc and i hardly ever see each other, but yesterday i was home almost all the times she was home. somehow, she had the opposite effect, because i could not concentrate on my brit lit reading with her making some sort of lavish dessert for mike in the next room.

later in the evening as it was getting dark, i was walking home and was just in time to see mike's truck pull away from our road. he'd picked kc up and they were going somewhere. if i had stayed at the library for one more minute, i wouldn't have seen that. on the other hand, if i had left a minute earlier, they would have had to pass me on the road and would have seen me, which is something they do not like to do when they're together. but last night it worked out just right for me to be sad and for them to be fine.

and apparently, things in my house are about to become passive-aggressive.

i mentioned last time that it was kc's turn to do the dishes and that she'd ignored them for a week. when i was leaving for a meeting last night, she was at the sink, washing. i thought, "finally!" and headed out. when i came back, half an hour later, there was a huge mess in the kitchen. she'd done the dishes, switched the marker on the refrigerator to say that it was my turn, and then went to town.

the lavish birthday dessert seems to have needed several saucepans and mixing bowls on top of normal baking stuff like measuring cups and silverware. i didn't know we had so many measuring cups. they had not been rinsed, and whatever was in them was shockingly similar to elmer's glue. this paste-like substance was also splattered on the stove and countertop, where it was drying. she had also cleaned out the refrigerator, leaving quite a few sets of her moldy tupperware for me to wash.

in half an hour!

technically we're all supposed to wash our own cooking/baking dishes. but i cleaned it up late last night, because it was, after all, my turn, and i didn't feel like waiting another week to have a clean kitchen. but bad timing struck again! just as i started the fresh stack of dishes, mike dropped kc off in front of the house. so they were both witness to me cleaning up her mess from making a birthday desert for the guy who used to be my boyfriend.

rotten ending to a rotten day.

Monday, January 23, 2006


verse of the day: "wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart. wait, i say, on the LORD." psalm 27:14

word of the day: extracurricularific! yeah, i stole that from strong bad.

song of the day: "the promise", when in rome. that's right, the one from napolean dynamite! and "head over heels" by tears for fears. oh, and "video killed the radio star", the buggles. and "i melt with you".

maybe i should just say that the decade of the day is the 80's.

wish of the day: i really want a mouse. and a new battery and power supply for my laptop.

highlight of the day: carmen and i made tea (vanilla hazelnut for me, redbush chai for her) and ate muffins (blueberry for her, chocolate chip for me) and did best friend things! i love when she's in town!

annoyance of the day: it's kc's turn to do the dishes, and she needs to freakin do them! it's been almost a week!

tomorrow: leader's meeting. and mike's birthday.


brit lit is going to be so awesome. i'm stoked.

but there's this one little part that won't be awesome.

there's a boy in that class that i've know since i was a freshman. i think i can safely say that he's the sleeziest, creepiest guy at tech. he looks like he just stepped off the beach, which he uses to his advantage to get girls. i'm not a lone nutcase on this one either. he actually got the nickname "stach" because he goes out with all the freshmen.

my girlfriends and i (especially carmen and rachel) have had some run-ins with this character. in particular, he was planning the annual "freshmen toast", a tech tradition to get all the freshmen drunk the night before the first day of class. this makes me uneasy to begin with, but with mr. sleeze in charge.... anyway, he got the idea that i didn't like him and stopped hitting on me. and stopped talking to me. this suited me just fine.

the first day of class, dr. mott had us all introduce ourselves, like all humanities teachers do, and say our name, major, hometown, and favorite weekend activity. of course, my favorite weekend activity is roller hockey. upon hearing this, mott promptly said that he played a few times a week with the other humanities professor and a few students and that i should join them. okay.

but one of the "few students" was stach, who also considers himself to be mr. athletic. now it seems that he thinks it's okay to talk to me again. and hit on me. he invited me to play hockey that day, and said something about how it will be nice to have a girl there to show off for.

i could destroy that guy.

but even worse, i think i introduced him to a nice transfer student girl, and now he's bugging her to go to the gym and work out with him. yuck!

and there's more! he somehow got himself into a group with her. and me. i don't know how long we'll be working together.

i have a bad feeling about this.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

semester outlook

seeing mike every morning sucks. i was wrong, i have two classes with him.

i have now attended the first of all my classes for this semester, except for the finite element analysis lab we all have tomorrow with dr. ghosh. that's not going to be fun. first of all, he's ghosh, and communicating with him is kind of like trying to fight swamp thing with a thawed dead fish. yes, i work for this man. second, it's a computer lab, and if the past is any indication, that means that everyone else in the class will have experience with the software and no one will bother explaining it.

i have two classes this semester taught by ghosh. time will tell whether it is more painful to have two ghosh classes or two miller classes. on the good side, both courses don't seem too hard, but on the bad side, ghosh has everyone do a big final project, so i will have two of those to complete.

that and i can't even listen to the guy talk for five minutes without totally zoning out. on tuesday i stared out the window for fifteen minutes, thinking about how to defend weir hall from zombies, before i realized i was looking in completly the wrong direction for him to think i was paying attention. great!

now for the good news.

CE will be as easy as ever, claudia is such a great teacher. she announced yesterday that the book was optional, so that saves me $100! woo!

fluid and thermal systems (which is a subject that oddly fascinates me) with dr. lyons doesn't look too bad. we get to drop a test and the homework is more or less optional, but if he randomly calls on us we have to know the solutions to all the problems or he takes points off our final score. and there's another end-of-the-semester project in his class, but no final!!! wee!!!

senior design will be the same as last semester. same group, same teacher, same room, same time... it's like we never left.

and then there's early british literature with dr. mott. i'm going to totally own that class. i could tell from the way he was talking that he's used to getting mediocre papers and half-baked ideas from kids in that class, and that he expects us to kind of evolve as the semester goes on. we'll have to write a 6 page paper and a 10 page paper, and do some take-home essay tests.

piece. of. cake.

i'm the queen of writing literature essays. i'm going to blow this class away.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006


You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish
You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

food town

today was the only "retreat" part of the leader's retreat. on scuba steve's high reccomendations, he, andrew, jesse, chris and i crammed into my car to take a trip to the famous datil steakhouse, which is some 60 miles or so away from socorro. scuba steve swore that it would be the best steak we'd ever eaten and that it would change our lives... so we tried it out. it turned into a major road trip.

understand this... the two-way highways running east and west of socorro are quite nice and picturesque, unlike the intersate running north and south, which would probably give you the most boring drive in america. on the westward-leading road is the Very Large Array (VLA, yeah, it's a dorky name, but you get used to it), a series of gigantic sattelite dishes. at our meeting last night, emily, one of our faculty sponsors, suggested calling our large group meetings VLG for Very Large Group. i think, considering the location and nerdiness of the school, that that was a sheer stroke of genius on emily's part.

at any rate, it's a lot better (and a good deal less confusing) than calling our weekly meetings "the feast", a term jd put into practice to try and make it seem like people were missing out if they didn't come, like they would be overcome with the most awesome experience ever, something that overwhelmed the senses and left you fat and happy. whatever. it's stupid. i hate it! "the feast..."

between us, jd is the biggest dork i know.

but thanks to emily we're past all that. our new name needed new posters, so we decided to stop at the VLA on the way to datil and have a little photo shoot. things got silly.

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here's the winning poster shot (i assume i don't have to tell you which one i am):

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after the vla we went to datil. the steak was good. it may have been the best steak i've had, but if i can't remember i suppose it doesn't count. it certainly didn't change my life. but it seems to be a boy thing... all four of them were in dead cow bliss.

about twenty miles up the road from datil is pie town. no, i'm not kidding. they have a post office and everything. pie town, new mexico exists for the sole purpose of a famous pie cafe. observe.

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okay, the pie may have changed my life. i had peach a la mode. it was so, so awesome. much better than the steak.

and the lady behind the counter was so cute! she talked to all of us like we were long lost friends, and kept inserting ways to brutally tease an old man at one of the tables, whose wife joined in to mock him. he took it very well. it turns out that today was is 70th birthday. wow. yes, pie town was the coolest thing i've done since i drove to virginia this summer. but what did i expect? pie in pie town had to be something meaningful.

on the way back to socorro, the boys all fell asleep in the backseat. it was cute.

we thought about stopping in magdelena to buy their statewide-famous ice cream shakes, but this outing could have gone on forever. the next step would have been san antonio, at the owl bar, to get green chile cheeseburgers. then i wondered, "why isn't datil called steak town?"

i guess that would make san antonio "green chile cheeseburger town."

and hatch would be "chile town."

and hillsburo would be "apple town."

and then i suppose las cruces would be "whole enchilada town."

but if socorro got named for anything, it would probably be the frosty beverages of the socorro springs brewing company. hense, "beer town."

that would up enrollment.

Friday, January 13, 2006

friday the 13th

today we had our iv team meetings, and they actually went very well! it's amazing how enjoyable rod's manuscript studies are when i don't have a mountain of homework to do. and yes, i mean enjoyable, not tolerable. i had fun hanging out today. when rod suggested that we all watch a movie tonight at scuba's house, i wasn't wildly trying to think of a reason that i couldn't attend.

suddenly i remembered that today is friday the 13th. at nearly the exact same moment, rod commented that tonight was a full moon. and everyone knows that scuba's house is haunted! it's one of the only victorian-style houses in socorro. the bright red carpet, antique furniture, moulded ceilings, and creepy chandeliers (for reals) can only mean one thing... there are restless souls present! no kidding, the attic is something straight out of a horror flick, complete with broken glass and old dirty dolls. and the bathroom? stuff of nightmares.

i told the guys that the fates had aligned and we had to watch a horror movie. we had to.

we ended up decided on the forgotten, which disappointed me somewhat because it's not really supernatural or terrifying... or friday the 13th-ish. but i did enjoy watching jesse, rod, and scuba jump. there aren't many "jump" scenes in that movie (i actually count exactly four), but they are violent jumps. to be honest, scuba's house is a lot scarier than the movie.

...as shown in the movie aftermath. apparently jesse and chris had trash to throw away, so they walked down the dark spooky halway to the cavernous kitchen, where i suppose they freaked themselves out. for whatever reason, chris came running back into the living room out of the bowels of a dark house and totally startled me.

i very nearly threw the movies in my hands right at his face. instead i yelled at him. "whattheheck! whatareyoudoing? whyareyourunning?!?"

well i sort of lost my cool. at that point i proved that i was excitable and was doomed. being a guy, chris then had to scare me several more times. realizing that there was only one light burning in the whole house, he quickly switched it off and screamed. so did i. so did scuba and jesse. they may have been playing along, but i don't know...

as we were filing out of the house, i told them, "if anyone touches me, they're getting punched in the face and i'm not kidding!" but really, i was kidding. i would know it's a joke and wouldn't do anything...

which is exactly why people are doomed if supernatural monsters ever do attack. the victim will believe, deep down, that the roaring mutant beast or shuffling zombie or little green man about to kill them is really their buddy playing a joke. and the victim will do nothing. and the victim will die.

dark, i know, but i just wasted a full-moon friday the 13th in a haunted house watching a psychological thriller, when night of the living dead and the exorcist were available. heck, i even own the blob! that would have been better.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

avatar attitude

i had an interesting discussion with one of my forum friends today. it seems that both of us have major avatar issues. let me explain.

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i started out as mahna mahna (do do, do do do!). the only problem with him (and it was a minor one) was that people regularly mistook me for a guy. i wanted to switch to a girly picture to throw a wrench into everyone's mental image. that's fun.

so i changed to the bespecled, purple-haired fashion doll you see on my profile. a friend of mine made it for me after i dyed my hair. i like it. but the problem with hair-product barbie here is that she thinks she's like, sooooooo much better than everyone else. just look at her... what an intellectual snob. and oddly enough, my posts became more intelligent and feminine with that avatar. strange...

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yesterday out of the blue i switched to godzilla breathing fire all over downtown tokyo. it's an awesome pic, and is a lot more popular with the other forumers than barbie or the muppets, but it stressed me out because it just didn't feel right. i felt rather violent! this was weird!

maybe a person's computer self is a different person from who they are in mind... like some other personality being created. and people (even the creator, maybe even especially the creator) start to think of their digital selves, their "projected image" (a la the matrix) the way they appear on the screen. then, when something is changed its like a different actor playing the same part in a movie sequel... it's just off. my buddy was having the same issues.

anyway, i couldn't take it anymore. i'm back to mahna mahna now. and boy do i feel relieved.

psychology is so weird.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

back to school...

well, it's official folks... i am pathetically addicted to sudoku. nothing can save me. i carry around a book with me. i play while i'm watching movies. last night i had a dream that i was playing and i had a box with too many threes and i had to start all over.

that's sad.

i'm going back to socorrow tomorrow. jesse wants the leader's team to be in town early so we can go over plans for this semester and budgets and the like. it's funny that he's calling it a leader's "retreat", when in reality we're just going back a few days before everyone else. but i don't mind going back early for iv. my mom is scandalized by the whole thing and keeps offering excuses for me to use to get out of it. "tell them you have physical therapy!" i told her that a massage doesn't count, and that i want to go.

but i'm not looking forward to living in the same house with kc again. i'm already dreading going back to that situation. this semester will be worse because i've got earlier classes. last semester i avoided her by staying hidden in my room every morning until eight when she left for work. that's not going to happen anymore. we're going to be trying to use the bathroom and kitchen and stuff at the same time. on top of that she'll be planning her wedding. how will i pretend to ignore that?

and speaking of classes... i have one with mike. so i'll get a good healthy daily dose of both the people that make socorro miserable for me. josh and his girlfriend kat are in that class too, which increases the chances that he'll try to talk to me and act like everything's cool between us. he works with kat on most of his class projects, and josh told me that he still thinks mike is cool. am i a bad friend for thinking that josh should be mad at mike? i dunno.

before finals last month i finally talked to mike. i told him that i was miserable and it was his fault. i told him that kc was in a bad situation and it was his fault. i told him that carmen and steve were stressed out and it was his fault. and, on my little brother's request, i told him that andy didn't like him anymore and neither did d (my neighbor). i think that hurt. andy thought the world of mike. so did i.

and i asked him about all the stuff that happened, like how he thought it would be okay to date kc, about the lies he told me, about sneaking around and letting me find out from josh, about how he was a coward and avoided me. he said he didn't have an answer for any of it. he kept telling me how much he loves GOD. okay.

i told him the stuff i posted earlier, about how he's not acting like himself and i'm worried about him being engaged. he was very quiet when i said that. and he was looking right at me, and he looked scared. he really did look like a deer in the headlights. but he didn't say anything about it.

at the end he told me that he keeps finding out new ways that he messed up. he was upset, but i didn't feel sorry for him. he did mess up. and he told me that he hopes we can be friends again. riiiiiiiiiiight...

does he really think that when he and kc are married and have a house that i'm going to come over for dinner and compliment the curtains? i can't wait until i never have to see either of them again. if that means that they move away together and are blissfully happy, so be it. at least i won't have to think about it all the time.

i think i hate this semester already.

Friday, January 06, 2006

calvin's snowmen

it's so beautiful outside! it's like 80 degrees. i love it. i'm really not looking forward to going back to socorro and the impending drop in temperature.

but if it has to be cold... maybe it will snow!

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calvin is so cool.

i've only actually seen enough snow to make snow creatures like this once in my life. i had no idea that snow sparkled. i thought snow globes were only sparkley to be fun. it's weird to think about snow when people are wearing shorts outside.

Thursday, January 05, 2006


once again i have proven my geeky, out-of-the-loopedness to the world... or at least to my family. tonight my sister, alicia and i went over to my aunt and uncle's house to play guitar hero (which rocks my socks) and a karaoke game on the ps2 console. one of the challanging settings was one which randomized the songs, to which you have to sing along or watch your score plummet and loose your crowd. it's an interesting game.

during my turn, a beyonce song that i have never heard came on and i totally choked. since my sister was already singing along, i handed her the microphone and she took over for me. she did great.

i have no idea what's "in" now. at school, i don't have a tv, i don't listen to the radio (not like i get any decent stations up there anyway), and even if i did, i don't have time to be knowledgeable about these things with all the blasted homework my teachers give me. this is where adam comes in. he tells me what's trendy, because it seems that he somehow has an innate sensitivity to it. these remarks are usually punctuated by some exclaimation of disgust as well, because usually, to be trendy is to suck. okay.

adam tells me how starbucks is trendy (and sucks). how boba tea is trendy (and sucks). he tells me about all the amazing gizmos that are coming out (and how awesome they are). he tells me about how apple should be more trendy. the list goes on.

it is from adam that i first heard of su doku. i believe he said something like, "oh it's this new math game, and it's totally addictive and trendy." from then on i saw it everywhere! newspapers, billboards, people in class pretending to pay attention... wow. and it really is trendy, i think our family got four giant books this christmas with titles like "uber su doju challange!" or "grand master su doku!" out of curiosity, i checked it out.

and now i am hooked. not to mention trendy. actually, i'm so trendy that i may go down to starbucks with my ipod and sit in one of those over-stuffed chairs and su doku for hours and hours. text me if you need anything.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

i heart new years!

happy new year everyone! here are some things i learned or was strongly reminded of this holiday season:

1. don't try to multi-task while making rice crispy treats. timing is everything in this process. and never underestimate the stickiness of a large mass of marshmellow goo. what a mess.

2. my dad and grandfather really are impossible to shop for. those awesome presents that i found? yeah, i got a little ahead of myself. at least my dad pretends that he likes what i got him. oh well.

3. being a dj is harder than it seems. (but i love it!)

4. last night i read a little banner that was saying the "best of 2005"s before the ball dropped. it reported that the most requested concert tickets this year were u2, the rolling stones, and, of course, paul mccartney!!! and one of those tickets was mine! i saw him! and he saw me! yay!

5. my cousin is the cutest kid in the whole world. he can say "guitar"!

6. i don't ever want to go back to school. i have to, because i'm almost done, but i'm really not looking forward to it at all.

7. itunes is addicting, and a little deceptive i think... in the same way that buying anything on the internet is deceptive because you don't feel like you're actually paying. i'm bummed that i can't download "stayin alive" or "the promise" without the entire soundtracks that feature those songs, but i'm happy because i'm listening to such music as the violent femmes and the cranberries. and, of course, a few weird al parodies. sweet.

8. m. night shamalan is brilliant and my hero. i made my mom watch signs and the village this week. next on the list should be unbreakable.

9. i can never have too many beatles shirts. i got about four of them for christmas, and they are so cool... vanessa gave me another one the other night with a big yellow submarine, and she was sure that i'd be sick of them, but i love it!

10. i really want to go to new york city. being there on new year's eve would be so much fun! yeah, it's a cliche, but i would still love to go. now imagine my shock last night when i learned that my mom has actually been to times square on new year's eve! i can't believe she never told me that! and she also said it was really lame. and freezing. that's unfortunate.