Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Mahna Mahna

here i am, being a good kid and trying to get my part of my solid mechanics lab write up done so my group doesn't kill me, and all i can think of is mahna mahna.

listen if you dare!

doo doo do do do

Thursday, February 17, 2005

what's in YOUR head?

though i’d like people to think otherwise, i’m one lazy, lazy person. it doesn’t seem like it from the outside, since i was valedictorian of my class and i usually have a job and i have great grades and all… but really, most of that is luck. i spend most of my waking hours playing spider solitaire. i put my homework off until the last minute, i haven’t washed my car in years, i don’t keep in touch with my friends… i have SO much free time, and i don’t do anything with it.

today i did the dishes twice, did ALL my laundry (and there was a lot of it, because hey, i put it off for over a month), cleaned my room, and got a job, of all things. i figured while i have all this motivation i should write to you, at least about the bizarre dream i had last night. every time i sleep in my new bed, i have the weirdest dreams. the weirdest one was when i dreamed i was crucified. i think i was JESUS.

as you know, my best friend carmelita is getting married this summer. i had a dream that we were at her wedding, but the ceremony was at steve’s house here in socorro. there were rows of chairs set up in the living room. i remember seeing carmen wearing a purple shirt and jeans and panicking because she wasn’t ready to get married and i would be in trouble because i’m the maid of honor. then i saw steve, and he was wearing jeans too. they told me that the wedding was over (apparently i had just missed it, all the guests were still in the other room) and that they were tired. they were unusually okay with me missing the ceremony. they had all their bags packed and were getting into the car, and they told me they were going to san diego for the reception.

next thing i know, i’m in san diego dreamland, where it’s very, very, sunny and pretty cold. we were on an outdoor platform right next to the water under a huge ugly tent. i was sitting at a table with my brother, our new study buddy, and his sister. as far as i know, none of them will actually be at the wedding. actually, i don’t even know if the sister exists. study buddy said he used to be gay. i remember thinking, “i knew it!”

then marky larky came in! he won’t be at the wedding either, but he was working in san diego. he was carrying huge cages full of doves, and he let them go inside the tent. they all flew up to the top and carried the tent away with them and flew off. the sun was really bright, and i looked across the water and saw two penguins playing on a little island.

then it started to rain, so we all had to build a new tent. there was metal and timber sticking out on the sides. everyone was toasting carmen and steve, but i wasn’t paying attention. i don’t think i was the maid of honor.

the weirdest part of my weird dreams is how well i can remember them. i can still see every detail. are any of you dream interpreters? am i a mental case or what? help!

Monday, February 14, 2005

a sinic

you’ve definitely seen them or heard them… maybe you are one yourself. you know who i mean. the women, young and old, that hate valentine’s day.

i’m not here to question motives. people have their own reasons for feeling a certain way. personally, i’ve never hated valentine’s day or felt bitter or even been abnormally lonely, in spite of the fact that i haven’t had a boyfriend before this year. i always had a guy that i admired from afar, but no romance. i suppose my experience for comparison is somewhat limited, but thus far, valentine’s day without a boyfriend was a whole lot more fun. in fact, this valentine’s day has been the worst i think i’ve ever had. and now, when i actually have a valentine, i’m relating to the masses… this day really does suck.

what exactly is the point of valentine’s day anyway? is it to make someone feel special? is it to make someone feel loved?

last night i took mike out on an $80 date. i’d been asking him for a while what i should get him for valentine’s day, and he kept saying food. and boy, did i bring the food. i was really proud of myself. i took him to albuquerque, to a fancy brazillian restaurant that serves huge chunks of meat, and then to a movie. i even dressed up all nice and drove. mike fell asleep on the way home. i was really proud of myself.

then came today.

i saw mike even less today than on a normal day. we have a class together, so i saw him then. i study with josh, and mike studies with kat, josh’s girlfriend. today all four of us were studying in the library, but MEs in one room and CEs in the other. they stopped by our room to say hi. actually, kat said hi, mike just stood there until i said hi to him. that was all i saw of him today. i talked to him on the phone twice… both times i called him, and nothing romantic was said.

when i got home from studying after a very long, lonely valentine’s day, there was a box of fruit snacks on my bed. the really gross, generic kind that people only buy if they have themed shapes (i tried some… i won’t try any more). next to it was a card that was meant for a four-year-old… i know because i got them when i was four. plus a frame with a picture of us inside that is mine anyway, mike’s just kept it in his room for the last month. so is it like, happy valentine’s day, here’s your stuff back? that’s great. it was worse than getting nothing.

i suppose the conclusion is that valentine’s day is better when you’re not expecting anything. i don’t think i was expecting like a grand ol’ present or anything, but it would have been nice to hang out with him, or get a note from him that had more than one sentence, or even talk to him. i don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect that valentine’s day will be more eventful when you have a boyfriend than when you don’t. even last year when we weren’t together he gave me a rose.

should i be upset here? am i just being stupid? i feel like a big baby, but i also feel really disappointed. bottom line: i don’t feel special and i don’t feel loved. and valentine’s day sucks.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

hello stranger

yes, it's been a while. i've finally really realized that i just can't live without the internet. i will do whatever is needed to get it into my house. right now i'm in my good ol' boyfriends room, but soon i will be publishing from my very own house! ah....

so, meet the new roomies. i'd say it's about time.

first of all, the girls in general...
they are all SO beautiful! i think rauni looks like sandra bullock, and everyone thinks nicki looks like liv tyler. i've been trying to figure out what celebrity kc looks like for quite some time now, but no luck. if you're really interested, i think she looks a little like carla bruni, but not so much to actually say it for sure.

first of all... the room-roommate, nicole.

nicki is studying early childhood development at the unm valencia campus. she's my age (21) and has a boyfriend named jonny and a dog named mocha. she's really sweet and fun and she's really, really happy like 99% of the time. i don't think she's ever had a ROOM roommate before, so it's kind of been an experience. she likes total darkness and lots of heat. i like to see and save my money. but it's working out. the good part is we have a huge closet and tons of clothes.

the house-roommate, kc

kc was doing graduate work at tech in geology i think, when she decided that it wasn’t what she wanted to do. now she’s teaching science at the middle school. she’s 24, making her the oldest of all of us. kc is very very pretty, and she’s tall and graceful and she’s has a really cute minnesota accent. she dresses nice, too. i think she could be a model. i like kc a lot, but i don’t really know how to act around her. i feel like i’m too immature or something. it’s not that she’s condescending or anything, i’m just weird.

the other house-roommate, rauni

rauni is the coolest and prettiest of us all. she only just turned nineteen this month, but she’s like superwoman, i swear. i think it was my second day at this house, she woke up at like seven on a saturday to go outside and burn the weeds in the yard. she’s got so much ambition and she’s cheerful and she stands up for herself.. she’s the only other techie in the house, but we don’t really have a techie kinship because she’s a freshman and living off-campus and still in the same town with her family and an undecided major and i’m totally in the thick of my junior engineering classes. but that doesn’t mean we’re not friends! she’s really smart and she’s not a drama queen… she’s so cool.

well, friends, it looks like my time is up for this evening. good night!