don't give up! FIGHT!

i've been reading jeremiah in my bible, but last night i opened to nehemiah instead.

"After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, 'Don't be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.'"
Nehemiah 4:14

i've been struggleing, trying to decide if i should fight for the things i love or just give up and except that everything changes. i knew before i read this that i was going to fight, but it was a welcome push in the right direction.

hopefully this encourages you as much as it encouraged me.
: )

homework, round one

so we've got this new class, machine element design, right? first day of class, tuesday, no teacher shows up. we all hang around for fifteen or so minutes until pablo, the wisest of us all, calls rosemary to see what was going on. she said there was no teacher assigned to the class, and we should all try again on thursday.

and thursday, a new teacher with an unpronoucable russian last name came in and talked at us for ten minutes longer than the class was scheduled for, which was rough, because we only had 45 minutes to eat anyway before all of us had to be in mechatronics. he didn't write any notes on the board and about half the class (including josh) fell asleep. at the last second, he threw us five or so homework problems.

i went to josh's house to study today. neither of us had looked at any of the homework. after we finished as much as we could on a somewhat nasty set of dynamic systems & controls, we decided to takle the unknown, the machine element design! i had no idea what to expect.

okay, first problem: convert the following quantities into SI units.

i laughed so hard i cried. what is "dr. b" thinking? unit conversion is easy for freshmen, and here we are, mechanical engineering seniors and we're converting units? is he kidding? all the other problems were just as easy. i haven't had homework that pointless since the very beggining of ES 110.

i don't know if i should count my blessings or be insulted or what. we sure got a good laugh out of it, though. : )

at least you have your health

when i was a freshman i got really sick and lost my voice for about a week. i couldn't talk at all, and i got around it by writing "i lost my voice, i can't talk!" on the back of my hand and showing it to people. it was funny to see people's reactions. it was also interesting because when i couldn't talk, people seemed to forget that i could hear, and they'd say things in front of me that they wouldn't usually say. it was also nice that my Matlab TA felt so bad for me that he helped me write my entire program and i got out of lab really early. : )

as inconveinient as it was not being able to verbally communicate, as annoying as it was having everyone around me try and guess what i was thinking, it was also kind of nice. the pressure of interacting was totally off of my shoulders. it was up to everybody else to keep the conversation running. when things got boring, it was not my fault in the least. i never felt guilty about sitting back and watching everyone else talk.

sometimes i wish i could go back to that. it would be nice to not be obligated to talk to everyone. of course, i couldn't turn it off and on; talk to my buddy and then write "sorry, too sick to talk" on my hand when someone i don't know very well comes along. and i'm not sure i'm ready to take on the coughing, sleepless nights, and general pain and misery that came with being so sick.

i guess that leaves me to sharpening my chit-chat sword and learning some one-liners. yay.

birthday song

today is kc's birthday, and it's also vanessa's birthday, my very first roommate, the one who first called me hollypolly, a nickname that somehow got all the way to las cruces, to my hockey buddies, and now they have one more thing they love to tease me about. :)

anyway, i stayed up late last night after kc went to bed and made her a cheesecake with the ingredients that carmen bought yesterday. carmen said she was too tired to make it, and boy she wasn't kidding, because she kept walking in and running into stuff and giggling. poor steve got his wisdom teeth pulled yesterday, so he was a little drugged up. he was wandering around like a zombie, going "uuuhhhhn". between the two of them, i had a lot of laughs, until i finally sent them to bed.

i made cards for kc and vanessa, and carmen and i are getting ness like fiddy bucks at jcpenny or something.

all this brithday atomoshere gets me to thinking about my own big day in november. it's going to suck like an superhoover. carmen asks me, "what day is you birthday this year?" THURSDAY. you know what that means... it's turkey, cranberries, and stuffing for me. instead of cake i'll have a pumpkin pie. i HATE when my birthday falls on thanksgiving.

but that's nothing compared to what i won't be doing. as of now i've pretty much given up all hope of making it to the paul mccartney concert on the 23rd. it's just not going to happen, it's too expensive. i'm such a loser. how can i not go? errrr... and of course on top of it all, i won't be seeing any of my friends because it's an academic holiday.

you have no idea how much i'm looking forward to our annual thanksgiving morning-long pickup hockey game.

faces of frustration

man, this day keeps getting worse and worse. i thought to myself, what's the worst thing that could happen tonight? and it happened.

still not ready to tell all, i've found some pictures that represent my life as of this moment. now, for your veiwing pleasure, i present the totally plagarized "faces of frustration."







i had found another picture that totally encapsulated everything i'm going through, but it was somewhat inappropriate, so i left it by itself. by the way, your comments would be greatly appriciated.

first day blues

well, today was the first day of school. nothing terribly eventful, except one of my teachers didn't show up. nothing stressful. nothing traumatic.

and yet, my mind is in constant turmoil. i have about a jillion thoughts running through my head, and wouldn't you know it, most of them are terribly personal, enough that posting them for the anonymous world to read causes me major hesitation. which leads me to the question i was pondering last night... exactly how much do i want to write in my little web diary?

i guess it wouldn't do, just telling you that i have soap opera-ish drama at home in las cruces, at college in socorro, and even in my little house with three other grown people. you want to hear what the drama is, not just that it's around, am i right? what if i made you a list? love, hate, jealousy, accusations, gossip, loyalty, fear, disbelief, insecurity, loneliness... no, not all me. but all around me.

didn't cut it, did it? it leaves the reader unsatisfied.

sorry i'm being so vague. i didn't bring myself to talk about it this time. i'm not trying to be mysterious, i'm just trying to figure out what's in my head.

home on the green

another post, and once again i'm wishing that my camera was in my hand instead of some black market yard sale. dirty theives.

i drove back to socorro this morning and i was astounded how green the desert was. the lakes and rivers are full, really full, and the horizon in all directions was, well... green. no kidding. it freaked me out. we've been getting so much rain lately that everything is transforming and we could get away with a state-wide golf course.

if good ol marcella was still with me, i would have been glad to post a couple pics. as it is, though, you'll just have to take my word for it.

dirty theives.

another nerdy perspective on a social situation

last night my brother nick and i went to a college youth group type thing. we had a mini-sermon, and then we broke up into little groups to discuss and pray for each other, and then had cookies and coffee. it was at a local church that we've been around for years, so we know a lot of people that go there. when he asked me to come, i thought, hey, maybe i'll see my dear old high school friend betsy.

nope.

betsy wasn't there, but there was no shortage of familliar high school faces around the circle. the guy leading worship was none other than the snobby musician guy i had class with for about ten years. he is good-looking and knows it, and i don't think he's said more than twelve words to me his whole life, just because he didn't have to.

another guy, this one nice, that i had a crush on for half of high school. another guy, a snob this time, who used to be my friend before he became cool. a girl who was my friend in high school that i haven't seen or spoken to in years. one of my former high school teachers. a girl i knew from theater. i recognized almost every face. why did i come here, i thought.

i hated high school. i went to a private school and some of my classmates were with me since second grade. that's nice if you're friends with all of them, sucky if you're that one kid that everyone teased. yup, that was me. i never got to grow out of it. when i went away to college, where no one knew me, i actually got to be myself and have fun and make real friends, because there was no one standing in the backround saying, "remember elementary school when she was dumb?" so now, when i come back to the high school scene, that stupiduglyannoyingnerdygirl feeling comes back and turns my insides to rot. i hate it. they trated me like dirt for so long that now it's automatic. i always feel too tall, too weird, like my clothes don't fit and i have stuff on my face.

that part sucked. but when the cookies came out, and the coffee was poured and my good friend al walked in the door, things got better. i'd forgotten how much my friend sonja and i have in common, and how nerdy she is, too. that was a nice surprize. my brother's friends are funny and cool (in that geeky way that i appriciate so) and we had fun talking about old times. we ended up renting a movie and taking it back to my house, waking up my little sister and teasing her about being in school already.

that was fun... but i will think twice before following my brother out the door again.

Harry Potter and the Mysterious Villian

if you've finished the sixth book and want to discuss your theories and swap condolences... well, i'm afraid i'm the wrong person to talk to. i haven't been able to muster the time commitment to really get attached to Mr. Potter and his buddies.

however, my family is nothing if not totally into it. i have picked up several of their theories, but perhaps the best thought out and most probable is my unlce's theory about who the real villian will be at the end of the series. it almost makes me want to read all six of those big books. he's such a fan that he has an entire blog post about his predictions. if i'm interested in them, they are sure to be a hit with a real harry potter enthusiast. but be careful! there are spoilers!

enjoy! :)

EDIT: the link has been taken down.

roomies!

i've been spending the last few days moving into my new house. i should really say my new room, since my new house is really my old house, the one i lived in last summer with steve, scuba, corrie and christian. instead of sharing the master bedroom/bathroom with corrie, i have my very own room (first time in three years, and i am stoaked), and i'm sharing the hall bathroom with KC. that's right, KC from the house i just moved out of. other roommates in the house include steve (not scuba steve, but the same steve mentioned above, who was my roomie last summer), and his new wife carmelita, who i've never roomed with before, but after all she has been my R.A. for a few semesters and she's one of my very best friends. confused? i sure am. let me lay it out for you...

My Roommate Timeline

In Driscol Hall:
Vanessa (fall 02 - spring 03)
Theresita (fall 03)

In President's Hall
Kim (spring 04)

At the White House
Scuba, Steve, Christian, and Corrie (summer 04)

Back in President's
Jessica (fall 04)

At the Val Verde House
Nicki, Rauni, and KC (spring - summer 05)

... and Back at the White House
KC, Steve, Carmelita (fall 05, and hopefully longer)

there ya have it! now i know how this looks. you're thinking, "what on earth is wrong with this girl? why can't she keep a roommate for more than a semester?" surprizingly enough, only one of the above rooming situations ended because we just couldn't get along. vanessa moved back home, kim graduated, nicki got married... and i'm not counting christian. he and i had our differences, but we're still on speaking terms, and we didn't share a room anyway. :)

and speaking of sharing a room... did i mention how excited and releived i am to not be sharing a room? my pictures are all over the walls. my clothes fill the closet. the bottom bunk and the top bunk are mine. from now on, the only alarm waking me up in the morning will be mine, mine!

no more sneaking in after my roomie's asleep and trying to get ready for bed in the dark!

no more sitting on the couch late at night finishing homework because i needed to turn out the light!

no more "don't touch my penguin!"

no more turning the music down! in fact, i left it on all night! wow... i'm stoaked.

Road Trip Day Thirteen

day thirteen was nicki's wedding. we drove to magdalena, because the outdoor cerimony and reception were held at nicki's mom's cabin in the woods.

it was SO BEAUTIFUL! it was the prettiest wedding i have ever seen, including ones in movies. it was very fun and sweet and just so beautiful. stolen camera or not, i will get my hands on some pictures and show you what i mean.

after the wedding we drove back to socorro and crashed for several hours. then we finally drove the last 150 miles of our journey, back to las cruces.

home at last. :)

Road Trip Day Twelve

where are the pictures, you may ask? well, i'll tell you.

the first thing we heard when we woke up was a knock and the door and the word "smashed" from an unidentified man. then we heard my grandma say "oh no" and close the door behind her.

the first thing i thought was, "the van got run into. it's okay, my computer's in the house."

next i thought, "the van got broken into. it's okay, my computer's in the house. but tracy's guitar is in the van... uh oh."

i desperatly tried to fall asleep again. next to me on the convertable bed, tracy was trying to do the same thing. but she finally sat up and said, "did he say the window was smashed?"

yup, the driver's side window was smashed. but the guitar, skateboard, my grandad's conputer, the train paintings, and most importantly (to me, at least) my cd collection were all still in the car. that's the good news. the bad news was my sister's wallet and my camera were stolen. both objects were left in the car accedentally, in our exhausted rush away from the car after 900 miles of driving.

my sis ended up loosing about $500 dollars. i feel really bad for her. she had everything in that wallet. as for me, i would much rather loose my camera than my cds.

anyway, the rest of day eleven was spent fixing the window, calling the whole family, telling my gradparents about our trip, and finally, finally heading to socorro. when we got there, carmen put a margarita in my hand that was really gross, but very welcome.

Road Trip Day Eleven

yes, indeed, we drove over 900 miles, from little rock to alubuquerque, all in one day.

man, that day sucked.

we were both really sick of the car, not really too sick of each other yet, but stiff and bored and all talked out. we couldn't stop for lunch because we had a ling way to go. we'd seen most of the scenery already. plus we'd listened to all our cds.

towards the end, my sister insisted on stopping at a bunch of road side thrift stores. that bugged me. we were close to being done! she's crazy.

we finally got to albuquerque, literally fell into my grandparents house, ate some pizza, and fell asleep.

the oklahoma city skyline.

hey, these windmills look familiar...

texas... finally!

we got an actual picture of the amarillo cars on the return trip.

and tracy bought a cowgirl hat.

Road Trip Day Ten

on day ten, we overslept. by about two hours.

since we overslept, and tracy had been bugging me about it the whole trip, we decided we might as well go to the waffle house for breakfast. tracy kept telling me how the food was going to change my life and stuff... i figured i should try it, just in case it did.

the food was okay, definitely not life-changing, but what was noteworthy was our exteremly lazy waitress who was no pro at manners either. she actually sat down at the table to wipe it down. wow. but before i get comments from all the over-worked, under-paid waitresses out there, don't worry, i left a good tip. don't forget that i used to work in a restaurant myself.

that day we drove from ashville, through tennesse (which was BIG fun), to little rock, arkansas. i felt like we could have gone further than that, but it didn't look like there was much on the other side of little rock short of oklahoma city, which was a little too ambitious.

and it was a good thing i got lots of sleep that morning, because GOD knows i sure didn't get much that night. i spent three hours talking on the phone, and a few hours mustering up my courage before that. but that's another story for another post, as the end of that saga is yet to be seen. pray for me.

i don't know what happened with this pic. tracy was posing in front of some pretty flowers in the driveway of the holiday inn in ashville, probably about ten in the morning.

erer sleeping in the car. HA!

downtown nashville! this one is i think the best skyline picture of the whole trip. i was really excited after i took this picture. tracy made fun of me, but i was happy.

another of nashville.

i've never been to mississippi before, so we took a little detour for a few minutes. another state to cross off the list! i was a little bummed about the picture quality. i gave my sister a warning to do better next time.

the memphis skyline is one of the coolest i think i have ever seen. i was driving, and my sister was in charge of taking pictures. as of this moment, she was officially fired as back-up photographer. this shot of the skyline is okaaaay... but i had to clean it up quite a bit. anyway, it was incredible, driving past memphis, over the mississippi at sunset.

sun setting over arkansas.

Road Trip Day Nine

on day nine, we left with a van load full of my grandfather's stuff, headed back to good ol new mexico. we were exhausted, so we slept in until ten or so before loading up and leaving. we drove until ashville, north carolina, a state which i have never been to before, to my knowledge. it was very pretty. :)

we left virginia beach around two in the afternoon. this is my virgina grandmomma, me, my sis, and my little bro.

here's a river somewhere on the road between virginia beach and ashville. after nearly two weeks on the road, the details become so unclear...

everybody say, "greensburo hojo!"

sun setting over north carolina...

Road Trip Day Eight

actually.... day eight wasn't much of a road trip. all we did was drive back and forth from my grandmomma's house to my granddad's house, which is like a five minute trip. but here are the pics anyway.

my brother is the cutest kid ever.

on monday we were helping my granddad move... from virginia beach all the way to las cruces. that's over 2000 miles. but anyway, a lot of the time we were hanging out outside his apartment complex. of course, andy made hanging out look gooooood...

my granddad lives next to a naval base, so these really loud, cool jets were taking off all day. it was fun!

here is me and andy the cool.

amy and justin took tracy, andy and i to the boardwalk, also known as the "tourist beach", so we could at least see the ocean before we left. unfortunately, it was too dark to take a picture of the waves, but it was fun to see.

see what i mean about photogenic?

here's andy, taking advantage of a tourist beach photo op.

last pic of the day, me and my little sis.

Road Trip Day Seven

sorry for the delay... i had some trouble finding an internet connection. and then i had trouble finding the time, THE TIME!

i will now attempt to catch you up on the road trip situation.

on sunday we drove from richmond to virginia beach and had a fun family-reunion-type pizza party! my aunt carolyn, uncle paul, cousin amy, her boyfriend justin, my mom, brother, and grandmother were already in town. oddly enough, we didn't take any big group pictures of all the family together. but here are the shots for the day. i really missed my other brother!

these are my cousins, colette and lela! they both had to help me spell their names. tracy french-braided their hair, so i took a picture of them all dressed up. they are so fun!

... then colette took a picture of us.

3:00 p.m., just before the tunnel to virginia beach.

what a handsome, cute, hunky, photogenic little brother i have...

andy thought me how to skateboard! this is andy and amy, and that's justin in the distance.

andy and his new favorite person, justin.

my cousin amy playing with my little cousin lela. she was a sad because she broke something and thought she was in trouble, so amy was cheering her up.