tonight was "share your favorite verse night" at iv. at last week's leader's meeting, jesse instructed us to be ready to jump up in front if things slowed down to a lull. tonight was a good meeting, there was lots of participation.
i was a little late. when i walked in, i noticed a boy i know (a fellow iv leader, no less) sitting outside next to the doors by himself. i've never seen him look so sad. he and i have never been great friends or anything, but we say hello to each other, and he didn't look at me when i walked by, just as if he didn't want to be seen.
he came into the meeting a few minutes after i did, and sat by himself with such a look on his face... he looked crushed. he didn't get up and read his verse. in fact, he didn't look up the whole meeting, even when his girlfriend got up to share her verse. and she didn't look at him. it doesn't take a brainiac to draw the conclusion that i'm drawing. after the meeting ended, he left. against my better judgement i followed him outside. he knew i was behind him, but didn't turn around. i asked, "are you alright?" he didn't turn around or stop walking but he said he yes. so i left him alone.
i really hope he's okay. like i said, we've never been close, but it just kills me to see that look... i know that look. i know that feeling. i recognized it as soon as i saw him. what went on inside just backed up my initial gut reaction. i so badly wanted to run up to him and say, "i know, it sucks! i know! i don't know what to do either. but it'll be okay, i promise."
did it take someone who knows the feeling to see what how he was hurting? or am i just being the broken-hearted equivalent of paraniod here? maybe the poor kid was just sick or something. am i imagining emotional pain in the people around me because that's what i'm going through? do i think everyone is heartbroken just because i am?
whether i'm right about him or not, this is a weird experience for me. before all of this, even when one of my friends was sobbing in my lap about a boy that had dumped her or some such story, i could not relate. sure, i felt really bad and wanted to fix everything, but this is different. i don't know how to explain it.