i swear, every time dr. mott puts us into groups in brit lit, he puts me with stach. every time. i'm about one bad-joke-with-a-dirty-undertone away from becoming a very mean girl.
but that's not what this post is about.
so here's the scene. this morning i had a meeting with ghosh and nat. i had emailed dr. ghosh earlier today with all the research i did this weekend. when i got to the meeting, he printed a copy of the email and asked me to read it out loud to him. of course, i sent him the email so he could read it himself, but after the initial puzzlement, wondering if he was really serious, i humored him. the meeting went downhill from there.
soon i was off the hook and ghosh was badgering nat about the pump apparatus. the following conversation/mental dialog was the result. (note: of course, i took some liberties with what ghosh and nat were thinking, but i'd be willing to bet it's pretty close.)
ghosh says: how are you going to control the flowrate?
i think: we already talked about this.
nat thinks: we already talked about this.
nat says: well, like i said befo-
ghosh says: what about using a... a... sal-LINE? like for sal-LINE? like the bag? yes?
i think: i think he means saline.
nat says: you mean like an iv bag?
nat thinks: are you insane?!? that's the worst idea ever!
ghosh thinks: this is the best idea ever!
ghosh says: that would be good, because it can work with very very small flowrates. and you can set it at the top!
i think: okay, come on, no laughing. you will not laugh! yeah, screw your mouth around, they won't see.
nat doesn't even know where to start thinking about all the reasons that an iv bag wouldn't work.
nat says: i'm pretty sure that won't work...
ghosh says: well, you can look into it. you can research it and do a websearch. and you can go to the hospital in socorro and ask if you can look at the bags to see if they will work. i think they will be very very useful.
i think: has ghosh ever BEEN to a hospital?
nat thinks: this is just great. my future is in your hands. why oh why oh WHY didn't i go to NMSU for grad school?!?
ghosh thinks: why is he not getting this?
ghosh says: you understand? the sa-LINE bag? yes?
nat says: i really don't think that will work, because those bags aren't very big, and they are sealed, so you can't refill them. the experiment will need much more fluid than is in the bag.
ghosh says: well perhaps there are many sizes. perhaps there is a much larger size. you'll look into it.
nat thinks: where? at the HOSPITAL FOR GIANTS?!?
i think: chew on that pen. chew it! you WILL NOT LAUGH!
ghosh says: you'll look into it. they can be very very useful.
ghosh thinks: what is his problem?
nat envisions beating his own head against the wall.
nat says: right.
ghosh says: now, i think you can get this done by... let's see, today is monday... tuesday?
i think: as in tomorrow? are you nuts?
nat thinks: as in tomorrow? are you nuts? are you?!? NUTS?!? oh, my head... whatever.
nat says: right.
ghosh thinks: hey, i forgot to do something.
ghosh says: i have to go talk to rosemary and sign something! discuss this problem!
and then he got up and ran off.
i couldn't hold it in anymore, i cracked up, and nat did something between cracking up and yelling with frustration. we spent the next several minutes swapping "this one time with ghosh" stories. he told me that he and ghosh have two entirely different plans for this project, and that ghosh's "grand scheme" (his words, not mine) involves calibrating several of these sensors and putting them in the stupid, stupid foam. you know, the foam that pablo and i spent half the summer filling with water. ghosh thinks this will make a pseudo-brain that will tell us all kinds of things about head injuries.
nat just wants to do his thesis on carbon nanotubes.
it's completely unrealistic. kind of like using an iv bag to control the flowrate of a system involving over ten gallons of --not saline-- but hydrochloric acid!
so yes. nat talked to me. we bonded over the absurdities of ghosh's highly motivated, but badly-overdue-for-a-reality-check brain. go figure.